Category Archives: Poems

Self-Portrait as Crappy Little Beach

It’s forty-seven Fahrenheit;

The sky and I are gray.

No one smart will sunbathe nude

On my poor sand today.

The waves are lapping loudly

Redefining what I am:

I’m a crappy little beach

In a town called Bellingham.

Observing me are humans,

Ages 3 to ninety-five

And a pair of lazy seagulls

Simply glad to be alive.

My face is made of footprints

Carved from mud and little feet

And a single tiny castle

Built in days when there was heat.

A single browning leaf still flies

Above the tiny moat,

Unnoticed by the passerby

Who try not to emote.

Beside me are some benches

With some names carved on their backs

Of love too poor or humble

To be featured on the plaques.

A lovely woman sits on me

With eyes locked on her phone,

Avoiding passing glances

Though she’s scared to be alone.

I’m here in every season

And I listen when you talk,

Supporting you in silence

As upon my back you walk.

I’ll be here with the sunset

And I’ll welcome you at dawn.

I’m a crappy little beach

Here until you’re long since gone.

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Identity Crisis

Once a boy wondered if it was okay

That he wanted to feel like a woman someday;

Once a girl asked if she’d feel more joy

If she looked and acted and spoke like a boy;

One adult wondered, for they had forgotten,

If youth was a blessing or if it were rotten;

And so this went on for more than forever

In the weak and the strong and the dumb and the clever.

Behind every eye is a mind that is yearning

To know if their heart is the only one burning,

To know if their fears are the same as their neighbors

And whether they’ll ever bear fruit from their labors.

They seek refuge from the onslaught of “uncertain,”

Ever straining to peek at what’s behind the curtain,

Answering tests that will never be graded

‘Til the years pass them by and the memories are faded.

And Amy and Andrew and Zelda and Zane

Will all long for comfort and cry from their pain,

And only the wisest know what they must do:

Merely listen intently and say what is true.

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Starting With The End In Mind

I wanted to be a journalist,

A master of the black and white,

But they said “You can’t ’cause you’re a bear.”

I studied far and wide

And bought the AP style guide,

But still no one would hire me… no fair.

Then one day I got a deal

To write one article for real

About how to better manage stress.

It was temp work, but hey!

Now I’m honest when I say

I am the only true Panda, Ex-Press.

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Almost Year of the Ox…

I was in San Francisco

Looking for a Gucci bag.

I saw one that was perfect

But it didn’t have a tag.

I asked the asian shop clerk

“Is this real? I’m not a cop.”

He said, “Bag not counterfeit,”

And that was bull in a china shop.

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Dating In The Country Be Like…

I hear her dad has fewer teeth

Than guns hung on his walls…

I heard her seven brothers

Got among ’em 19 balls…

I’ve heard her mom got famous

As a former L.A. Ram…

But I heard she ain’t got no beard

So I don’t give a damn!

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Only The Bullies and the Barefaced Have Been Seen In Public…

There once was somebody’s spouse

Who put on a burgundy blouse.

She said, “Some folks will ask

“Kindly ‘Please wear a mask?'”

But those folks never leave their house…

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Strange Phobias

There once was a young christmas tree

Who saw mom and dad chopped by me.

It stands still for now,

But someday, somehow

It will run fresh out of mercy…

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The Intimacy Of Distance

Sometimes to be yourself it seems

A friend just will not do,

For one may fear a friend will know

About the real you.

And so when one must tell the truth

With all its hidden dangers

One turns to find one’s solace

In the waiting ears of strangers.

And yet in sharing what you are

With someone you don’t know,

In starting with the basic stuff

And moving far too slow

You find that what you hoped for

Is alive and omnipresent

And that a world that judged you

Now appears… could it be pleasant?

Did you see the sun came out

And know that fruit is sweet

And music’s free for everyone

And smiles fill the street?

Sometimes just to be yourself

Needs strength you do not feel

So thank God for the strangers

And the ways they help us heal.

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More Inspiring Covid Stories

I used to dress in a suit and tie

And drive off to my job

Creating animated models

For my supervisor, Rob.

One day, Rob pulled me aside

And said, “Work from home, dude.”

I’m still an animator

But now I model nude.

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Was It A Typo Though?

Turns out makin’ music doesn’t mean makin’ money.

That was no news to me, but was news to my honey.

When a man gets poor it’ll do something funny

To almost all the female ears!

When the cashflow slows in the time that you date ‘er

Like the tempo that jazz plays in the elevator

Then don’t be surprised, and do anticipate ‘er

Not boppin’ you for quite a few years!

Yeah, I do remember the times in the twenties

When a man could bop all night long,

But come year ’30 we ain’t playin’ too dirty

And a depression is comin’ on strong!

I’m no type of teacher, but you oughta be knowin’

Where this job playin’ jazzes is probably goin’…

Come late at night you’ll be the only one blowin’.

Sorry bro, but them is the fac’s.

Better practice your ‘prov and practice your scales, especially for playin’ the blues…

Between big simple cash and a big cymbal crash you know what a woman will choose…

The little metals guys who hold your keys in place will be the only thing that she screws…

That’s life when she’s withholding the sax!

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