If you ever feel inferior
Be glad it’s not your fate
To be one of the walls in China
That never will be great.
Category Archives: Poems
Except They’d All Start Bullying The Dog Because She’s Cute And Blonde…
I think we need an Air Bud sequel
Where the dog plays in the WNBA.
It would bring recognition to the league
And the dog winning makes sense that way.
Filed under Poems
Haiku for my Sister-In-Law
I have zero friends
Because other people suck
And I’m funnier
Filed under Poems
When You Think Of A Tongue Twister, But Have To Justify It With Some Kind Of Narrative ‘Cause You Write A Poetry Blog, Not A Tongue-Twister Channel
I remember being baffled
When I was a little tyke
Because the little axolotls
Looked an awful lot alike
And the axolotl likeness
Made me trip over my tongue;
“A lot of little axolotls look a lot alike”
Is hard to say when you are young.
Filed under Poems
Jazz
I’ve got a great idea
For a really catchy song.
We’ll play the tune for the first minute
But it’s eleven minutes long
So the rest of it will be me
Playing a random sexy lick
Until you forget that you were listening…
Yeah, that’ll do the trick!
Filed under Poems
Perfectionism
Sunny Summer day
Fluffy clouds and gentle breeze
Now I’m way too tan
Filed under Poems
Cause and Effect
Birthday cake is good.
Every day someone is born.
Ergo: I am fat.
Filed under Poems
News I Learned From Memes Interpreted As A Haiku Because Thursday
Trump’s on Epstein’s list.
Someone’s gun went boom too soon.
England’s a hellhole.
Filed under Poems
My Favorite Superhero
We’ve got people addicted to drugs,
Alcohol, porn, and their phones
Yet my cat hears someone say “pspspspsps”
And just feels content deep in his bones.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 