Category Archives: Poems

Ode To Gen Alpha

There are many lovely people

In the world that I have seen,

Yet many would be lovelier

As part of Soylent Green.

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Intercultural Communication

When black people get an education

People say they’re “Acting white”.

As a white person myself

I must say that isn’t right.

If you want to leave the ghetto

That’s an asian thing, for sure.

If you think I’m wrong, you’re gay.

Now speak English, por favor.

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Want To Disable Blood Rain For $0.99?

Pestilence, Famine, Death, and War:

These are the mythic Horsemen four.

Another we’ll add in the next transcription:

It’s named, “To Continue, Please Buy A Subscription”.

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It’s An Important Step!

There once was a griller from Harding

Who didn’t click his tongs twice before starting.

What happened next makes

Hiroshima seem low-stakes

And now God’s set the world a’ restarting.

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Thank You For Calling

Your call is very important to us

So please enjoy this ditty

Until your soul gets old and grey.

Alas! It’s such a pity

That this call is very important to us

Yet all that you can do

Is stay on the line until nothing is fine

And the call’s not important to you.

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Am I Trusting The Science Right Yet?

I want to compare test answers

‘Cause I don’t think I passed…

The world is going to flood because

We’re using too much gas

So an African guy made a car

That uses electricity

And people are setting those cars on fire

Because of bad publicity?

But I thought the existential threat

Was a warming atmosphere?

Why are we taking violent action

So the air cannot stay clear?

And somehow its the billionaires

Who’re making us be poor

By reducing all our taxes

And keeping thieves out of their store?

Forgive me if I missed a point…

There’s just so much to learn!

What say we light another joint

And watch the city burn?

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Mind Needs To Be Restarted Before Upsating

My mind is free of clutter

And my thoughts are all pristine.

My brain is not a’flutter

And neither is my spleen.

I haven’t an idea

Nor a pondering or musing

And anyone who makes me think

Is cruising for a bruising.

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The River Of Time

There is a bridge entangled

In the jungle of our life

That spans a tiny river

That’s no wider than a knife.

On one side of the river

Is the Friday Party deep

But with me on the other shore

It’s shallow and we sleep.

In every life there comes a day

When you’ll cross unto my bank

And when you do you won’t cross back

And you’ll have age to thank.

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20th Century Art History

So around the 1900’s

A bunch of artists said

“What if, instead of pretty things

“We just made trash instead?”

And thus “modernism” started

Until 1970 or so

When artists became “post-modern”

And nobody came to their show.

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Road Trip

I’m a hundred miles from home

And I’m all topped off on gas.

I’ve got four all-weather tires

To propel me past the pass.

I’ve got all my tunes on CD-rom

And 12 donuts ready to bite.

I’m ninety-nine miles from home now

And there’s the check engine light…

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