I can understand the fear
Of Muslims, guns, and thugs.
I see we people punish
Those who sell illegal drugs.
Despite my understanding,
I can’t support the death penalty
Unless you spoil “The Force Awakens,”
In which case it’s fine with me.
Category Archives: Poems
What The News Won’t Tell You
Mass media provides
A service in which they
Share public information
Of what happens every day.
But the news is not reliable
To show an uncomfortable scoop
Like the hundreds of would-be bombers
Who thought “nah, I gotta poop.”
No matter how they try
And no matter how they zoom
Cameras never show a person
Standing in an empty room.
They won’t report this poem
On MSNBC.
They won’t tell other countries
About you, him, her, and me.
So I spend time on Facebook
‘Cause the news is relevant there
Until I see pics my friend’s friend liked
And then even I don’t care.
Filed under Poems
New Releases, Same As The Old Releases
The plots of every video game
Turn out to be exactly the same:
An underdog becomes more skilled
Until the villain can be killed.
I created a game of my own
That you can play without a phone
In which a group of Demon Lords
Present you with various rewards.
Some give freedom, some give wealth.
Some guarantee you perfect health.
Some will make the world at peace
Or let you meet the cast of “Grease.”
Your character has just one year
(Minus time for sleeping, work, and beer)
To help your choice of Demon Lord
Get the power to give you your reward.
And after all is said and done
Whichever Demon eventually won
Will not give you what they said.
They’ll do what’s best for them instead.
How many of you think “sounds like fun?”
Oh really? I guess that’s no one…
The name of the game is Election Day.
It’s coming in November to the USA.
Symbolism
All good things have symbols,
Logos, and/or icons.
The golden M is Micky D’s.
The word”Nikon” is Nikon’s.
Now this is great for products
And for things you buy and sell,
But have you once considered
Other ways this works well?
Take a dollar symbol,
Which stands for money that we make.
Have you ever noticed
That it’s a pole-dancing snake?
Or how about the three curved lines
That indicate Wi-Fi.
They’re nothing but a magic drill
Descending from the sky.
What’s a symbol for your workplace?
A necktie does the trick
Because it’s both a hangman’s noose
And an arrow towards someone’s dick.
If I were a symbol
I’d be this guy: & Yup.
(I originally wanted to be an 8
But some artist messed up).
Filed under Poems
Good Advice From Video Games
Do you feel worthless,
Hateful and depressed?
Does even going to sleep
Make you feel stressed?
Do you ever think of ending
Your life, which turned out shoddy?
If you do, let someone know
So they can loot your body.
Filed under Poems
Playtime’s Over
Tiny white flakes
Fall past my window
Onto the sidewalk,
Each one unique,
Their lives so short.
Those kids got what they deserved
For early morning bed-jumping
With the window open.
Filed under Poems
Small Talk 1.0
If you want to agree with a stranger
Say “What a beautiful day.”
If you want to argue with a stranger
Say “I think both parties are okay.”
If you don’t feel like talking
Say “What’s that?” And run away.
(If you’re a woman in a bar
You can also say “I’m gay.”)
And if all else fails,
Dead’s a good thing to play.
Filed under Poems
Why Don’t Plants Move?
I used to know
Why plants didn’t move.
About it I used to sing,
But now I’m confused
Because chlorophyll
And chloroform aren’t the same thing.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 