So World War 3 is imminent
And everyone’s poor and depressed
But they’re selling egg nog at Costco again
So I feel a little less stressed
Category Archives: Poems
We’re Almost Done! (Repeat The Line)
There once was a politician (read: liar)
Whose teleprompter went haywire.
She said “34 days”
About 34 ways
And CNN wrote “…continues to inspire.”
Filed under Poems
It’s A Pun… And A Haiku… And A Geography Joke… What Have I Become?
Whenever I meet
Patriotic Libyans
It’s a big green flag.
Filed under Poems
Remember That Hope Thing? That Was Nice…
There once was a 49ers running back
But he got hurt a few games back.
Turns out their fifth string
Still runs like a king
And the ‘92 Seahawks are back.
Filed under Poems
Heroes On The Ground Delivering You Live Coverage
There once was a Hurricane Milton
And for donations the news went a guiltin’.
They had guys in the storm
With hair in good form
Filming live from the Atlanta Hilton.
Filed under Poems
Book Review: “The Accomplishments of Kamala Harris”
Kamala is a person
Who’s been in political office for years.
The following are her accomplishments
That distinguish her from peers:
Filed under Poems
If Timmy Were Trans, This Would Still Be In Your School’s Library
Timmy wasn’t happy.
Timmy threw a fit.
Timmy is annoying.
He’s a little piece of shit.
Timmy has a blanket
That teacher took away.
Timmy started crying
‘Cause he’s dumb and fat and gay.
The office called Ms. Timmy
And said “your son is sad”.
Ms. Timmy said, “He should be
“‘Cause he never met his dad.”
Then Timmy got a rifle
From the democratic party
And he took a shot at Donald
And now they call him “Smarty.”
Filed under Poems
Great Ideas Are Never Appreciated In Their Time
If you’re on the corporate ladder
And you want to climb a rung
I suggest not being the guy
Who suggested the spelling of “Tongue”
Filed under Poems
No One Beats America… Even America
Some say we need to make America
A strong, resilient nation again.
To those people I would ask
To name exactly when
Our country, whose brave leaders
Are vegetables and crooks,
Whose best and brightest students
Struggle reading chapter books,
Whose economy is imaginary
And whose borders are nonexistent
And is still full of opportunity
Stopped being so resilient?
Filed under Poems
Folie A Deux
There was a movie about mental illness
That everyone actually liked
And, because of it, interest
In DC movies spiked.
Why not make a sequel
That’s a musical joke
And make it a franchise
And also all woke?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 