Let me introduce myself:
My name is Danny Michael.
I’m a circus performer
And I ride the unicycle.
I’m glad you guys are happy
But imagine how you’d feel
If you were me, and you kept telling
Jesus to take the wheel…
Category Archives: Poems
Still Better Than The Cardinals
There once was a team from New York
That played like a twelve-week-old pork.
They signed Aaron Rodgers
But that poor old codger’s
Injured now, and they ask “What the fork?”
Filed under Poems
And Then We Got The Modern TSA…
‘Twas the night before National Report Medicare Fraud Day
And all of the drama
Happened in NYC
Largely due to Osama.
The planes were a flying
And the pilots were wild
And the towers that were twins
Became an only-child.
But alas, that new status
Was not long for this world
As another plane crashed
And tower two curled.
Then we heard men exclaim
As the tow’rs became soil:
“Yay American unity!
“Now let’s go steal some oil.”
Filed under Poems
If You Yerd A Piñata, You’re Doing It Right
I am both a poet and nerd
And I learned a most interesting word:
It’s definition: “To beat
“An object with a stick.” Neat?
The word, as I learned it, is “Yerd”.
Filed under Poems
Everything Else Signifies Subtle Loathing
If your cat attacks you
It means he wants your love.
So does meowing, purring,
And leaping on you from above.
But if your cat ignores you
And poops in the flower bed
It means “Yeah sure, I love you
“But don’t let it go to your head.”
Filed under Poems
The NBA Breathes A Sigh Of Relief…
One upside of trans acceptance
Is that in ten years women’s sports
Will probably make a profit
Now that men are on the courts.
Filed under Poems
You’d Think He Was Arrested For Steel-ing… But No
I created a robot who creates electricity
By eating crackers. He’s chattery
But alas his social life was cut short
When he was charged with a saltine battery.
Filed under Poems
Is There A Saint Dick Or A Saint Mickey As Well?
I am the type of person
Who will see the pearly gates
And confess all my discretions
Where redemption thus awaits
Until forward steps St. Peter
And unto me he does declare
“I am Peter”, and I giggle
And am promptly sent “down there”.
Filed under Poems
Cowabunga, Dreamers!
If you ever think your ideas are stupid
Just remember films about turtles
Who are pizza-loving teenage ninjas named after renaissance artists
Made 1.2 billion dollars. How’s that for clearing hurtles?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 