April the 4th, 1902:
His wife said, “We’re leaving in 5.”
Today his wife’s ghost put on her shoes
And asked, “Hey, why aren’t you alive?”
History Repeating Itself
Only took three years
Of England having a king
To become evil…
Filed under Poems
Sophie’s New Choice
Equal wages or
Pumpkin-spice in everything…
White girls, whatcha got?
Filed under Poems
Normalcy Is Overrated
If you eat noodles with a knife
I bet you probably love your life.
If your best friend is a cat
Your probably satisfied with that.
If your name starts with a Z
You’re already cooler than me.
What makes you weird’s what makes you you
So unto your weird self be true.
Filed under Poems
World Design 101
You ask me if there is a god
And I say that I hope not
For I have traveled o’er the world
And many treasures sought
Yet behind every waterfall
I found just rocky flat.
Who would wish a god exists
Who makes a world like that?
Filed under Poems
The Cardinals Uniform Designer, Apparently
What if we made shirts
Out of used toilet paper
And called it a day?
Filed under Poems
Choice of the FedEx Driver
I could park my truck
And walk up to the house
And place a package on the door
Or hand it to a spouse.
I also have the option
To relive my high school ways
And chuck a 40-yard touchdown
With whatever peasants buy these days…
Filed under Poems
Hark! I, The Bard, Doth Telleth Of Some Happenings That Art Off The Hook, Yo!
“Once upon a time…”
Is the ye olde way to say
“Get a load of this…”
Filed under Poems
U OK, UK?
Everyone’s welcome in dear old England
Regardless of color or race
But if you think memes are amusing
It’s best that you don’t show your face.
Filed under Poems
Kids These Days…
My parents were trees;
I’m a cone that you step on
To make crackle sounds.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 