Apathy’s amazing!
It’s the best a mood can get!
It’s so great that I don’t care
That I don’t get it yet!
Good Clean American Cinema
If the Florida Air National Guard
Gets attacked by a suicidal croc
And they try to assassinate the leader
By using many a Blackhawk
Then discover the croc was Muslim
And they make a movie about it later
I hope they give it the title:
“Hella’copters vs. Allah Gator!”
Filed under Poems
When You’re A Cop, She Knows A Lawyer, And #MeToo Is Trending
I looked at her chest
And she called me rude
Though she walked down the street
Ninety-eight percent nude.
Yes, she was a burglar
But she had a vag
So I saved myself trouble
And turned in my badge.
I wanted to uphold
The laws of the land
But somewhere the culture
Got quite out of hand.
Had I filmed the occasion
‘Twould be legal, but hey!
Now I play “Call Of Duty”
And tell folks I’m gay.
Filed under Poems
Take That, Al Gore!
What if the Earth
Is God’s kitchen fridge,
Cold for millions of years
Until, recently,
God opened it up
To get out some divine beers.
The Earth got all warm
From the Heaven outside
Until, once again, the doors close
That or it’s just
What science is saying…
What I’m trying to say is: Who knows?
Filed under Poems
Shooting Star
A dinosaur wished upon a star:
“I wish the pain would stop!”
The star pulled out its Glock and said
“You’re lucky I’m a cop.”
Filed under Poems
When Your Circadian Rhythm Plays Jazz
As we wander, wounded,
Through the world of time and space
We can lie horizontally
With a pillow in our face
And reset the weary burdens
We have gained throughout the day,
Except whenever I try to do so
My brain wakes up to play…
Filed under Poems
I Wrote My Mom A Good Poem. This Isn’t It, You Freeloader :-)
I like to think of weird jokes
So I wrote one and hid it.
It’s not a “Yomama” joke
‘Cause then everyone would get it!
Filed under Poems
That Climax Be Like…
There was a bomb on main street
Set to blow at 5:08
I pulled up at 5:14
Because the traffic made me late.
I had only seconds left
Before the bomb blew me away
An hour later ’twas defused
And I, the hero, saved the day!
Filed under Poems
Anyway
I haven’t been touched like that for a while,
Long enough to forget the taste of a smile,
‘Cause who needs love when you’re in denial anyway?
I couldn’t tell you about my best friend,
Haven’t written letters that I want to send.
What good are people when the world is ending anyway?
Even though I know I lived through the past
I can’t remember when I forgot time last.
Why can’t the years alone go by so fast anyway?
I haven’t been touched like that for a while,
Was living in a life marching single file
‘Cause who needs love when you’re in denial anyway?
Thanks for listening even when it’s tough.
A lot of people need to say this kind of stuff.
Now I feel and I hope that I’ve said enough.
Anyway…
