Whereupon the stymied patisserie
So quotidien in its avarice
Did lament the paternal accessorie
Whom were betwixt its effervescence
So flattering were its satellites
In the corona of solarium
That I could end this poem
Without rhyming.
Tag Archives: Bad
Fantasy Movies
Once upon a time ago
When dragons ruled the Earth
A magic chosen one was born
On the day that was his birth.
He grew up like a normal child
With perfect grades and crap
Until eternal evil
Fell conveniently in his lap.
He walked through several biomes
While some epic music played
And met the one named female character
And somehow did not get laid
And then, at the end of the runtime,
The villain said “I’ll never die”
Then sky-beams and a sword through his head
Proved his last words were a lie.
Then the hero faced the rising sun
To a song by a knock-off Enya
And the nerds all left the theatre saying
“Let’s watch that again, ya?”
Filed under Poems
Too Far?
If I had a sweet purple pony
For every terrible poem I’ve written for you
I’d have no shortage of mystery meat
And the world would have no want for glue
Filed under Poems
Empathy Is For Other People
Sometimes I think I have a lot
Upon my figurative plate
Because I have so little time
And go to sleep too late
And then I see somebody
Working nineteen hours for minimal pay
And I go home just thinking
“What flavor pizza should I get today?”
Filed under Poems
Island’ed On Another Pun
One time I went to Hawaii
And I let out a heavy sighii
‘Cause it’s very hot in paradise
And aloha temperature would be nice.
Filed under Poems
Butt Why?
If you think your job is bad
I think I’ve got you bested:
Today I read on a rectal thermometer
“Each unit individually tested.”
Filed under Poems
Give Me The Change You Want To See
You know how when you want to watch
A YouTube video
And just when it gets to the good part
The talent starts to show
An ad for “Raid: Shadow Legends”
Or some other mobile game
And you just skip ahead because
You think the ad is lame?
Well, that’s basically the state
Of politics today:
Companies sponsor actors
And we look the other way.
So if you want to change the world
Don’t buy Pfizer or Walmart.
Instead, please spend your hard-earned cash
On poetry to start!
Filed under Poems
A Very Heartfelt Easter Poem
Happy bunny day today
To those who hunt for eggs and pray
And also Lent is done so yay!
That’s all I’ve got, so go away.
Filed under Poems
A Shaky Poem At Best…
An epileptic guy walked into a pizzeria.
It was a Domino’s, but he wanted Little Seizures.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 