Once upon a time ago
When dragons ruled the Earth
A magic chosen one was born
On the day that was his birth.
He grew up like a normal child
With perfect grades and crap
Until eternal evil
Fell conveniently in his lap.
He walked through several biomes
While some epic music played
And met the one named female character
And somehow did not get laid
And then, at the end of the runtime,
The villain said “I’ll never die”
Then sky-beams and a sword through his head
Proved his last words were a lie.
Then the hero faced the rising sun
To a song by a knock-off Enya
And the nerds all left the theatre saying
“Let’s watch that again, ya?”
The Daily Travesty 