Sometimes when I get frustrated
I throw my mouse at the floor.
After I get frustrated
I can’t go to that vet anymore.
Tag Archives: Black Humor
Diversity
Some folks are really heavy
And some are very thin.
Some have different genitals
And different colored skin.
There’s lots of types of accents,
Many different colored hairs
But everybody’s equal
When you push ’em down the stairs.
Filed under Poems
Canadian Muslim Problems
In December I sat on a frozen lake
And fished for rainbow trout.
The next two months I did the same
‘Cause that’s what I’m about.
This Summer I’m vacationing
Somewhere in the Maldives.
I know there’s no ice-fishing there
But I can avoid my 28 wives.
Filed under Poems
But Why?
The road told the rooster
“You look like a hen.”
The rooster killed the road’s family
And it never crossed the chicken again.
Filed under Poems
Board Games In Baltimore
We sat down to play
The latest version of Clue,
Read through the rulebook
To check what was new,
Saw a new character
Named “Mr. Not-White”
And we shouted “Case closed”
And called it a night.
Filed under Poems
[(e^ x pi)^2] x 32/8 Poems About Stephen Hawking
He inspired T-Pain’s voice
And Kristen Stewart’s face.
He inspired the customer service line
For JPMorgan Chase.
He’s inspired Chuck Norris’s costars
And how my face looks when I kiss.
He inspired Kaepernick’s anthem quote:
“I will not stand for this.”
——————————————————–
Stephen Hawking read a book
About how to improve his look.
A little rouge and some eyeliner…
He was a brief history of sublimer!
——————————————————–
If Stephen Hawking gained some weight
And higher mass increases gravitational pull
Would fat Stephen Hawking be more attractive?
(And you thought physics was dull)!
——————————————————–
Stephen Hawking lit himself on fire
To experience how burning feels.
He gained a greater understanding
And a new nickname: Hot Wheels
Filed under Poems
Sorry Fellow Libra…
When I was born the doctor said
“Your son may never speak.
“His tongue is all misshapen,
“His entire body weak.
My parents only smiled and laughed
As they rode home on the bus
Saying “At least that doctor
“Wasn’t talking to us!”
Filed under Poems
Reason #4,231,278 I Love Texas
I got a letter from a woman:
“I’m not pretty,” she wrote.
I wrote back “That’s okay.
“I once f***ed a goat.”*
Believe it or not
She never wrote back.
It seems my sage wisdom
Got her self-esteem back on track!
*Not a literal goat, you pervert! That’s just what we call my cousin.
Filed under Poems
Want Some Drink With Dose Fries?
The french-fried potatoes
That I bought from Wendy’s
Are covered in tattoos
And wear pants around their knees,
They complain about white privilege
And say “sup” instead of “hey.”
That’s when I remembered
That today is black fry day.
Jews In Mississippi
He showed us how to circumcise a redneck
In a way that none of us had done foresaw:
He found aforementioned redneck in his bedroom
Then kicked the redneck’s cousin in the jaw!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 