Have you heard about Tiananmen Square?
Well, in case you weren’t aware
China did some bad stuff.
I hope this limerick’s enough
To get Chinese spammers out of my hair.
Tag Archives: Black Humor
Postmodern Sports
People pay for paper
To play games of skill and chance
Where whoever bought the biggest bad
Will do the victory dance.
Boys will bash their brains in
To gain a yard or two
To prove their color’s mascot
Can score more points than you.
Folks will flee their families
To clock another hour
In hopes they’ll earn an office
That will make their colleagues cower.
I could go on forever
Making metaphors like these
But instead I’ll pose a “Let’s suppose”
To replace pastimes like these.
When you look past the colors
And the titles and the flags
It’s really just a contest
Of the biggest moneybags
So why not have a contest
Where we burn a stack of cash
And the champion of the world is he
With the longest-burning ash?
This money-burning contest
Will be framed as needing skill
And is an excellent opportunity
To sell a snack/drink/pill.
Heck, make a legal system
Where your life goes up in flame
And share it on a TV show
To keep building the game!
Then fans of sports and politics
And work and sex and war
Can celebrate the waste of time
While laughing at the poor.
Filed under Poems
If Timmy Were Trans, This Would Still Be In Your School’s Library
Timmy wasn’t happy.
Timmy threw a fit.
Timmy is annoying.
He’s a little piece of shit.
Timmy has a blanket
That teacher took away.
Timmy started crying
‘Cause he’s dumb and fat and gay.
The office called Ms. Timmy
And said “your son is sad”.
Ms. Timmy said, “He should be
“‘Cause he never met his dad.”
Then Timmy got a rifle
From the democratic party
And he took a shot at Donald
And now they call him “Smarty.”
Filed under Poems
Two Birds, One Stone, Bipartisan Support?
Some say energy should be solar.
Some say nuclear is the way.
How much electricity does burning sex offenders produce?
Just a thought… but affordable, eh?
Filed under Poems
Somewhere, A Lawyer Is Crying
If you never wear black clothes
And walk through parking lots at night
While making deep eye contact
With your cell phone, you just might
Never get to call your lawyer
And get ten-mil in compensation
For no reason other than
Having your legs lose all sensation.
Filed under Poems
Port-au-Prince Palace Anyone?
We’ve talked about Chinese food
Being cats for many a year
And I have to ask if Haitians
Are missing a franchise opportunity here…
Filed under Poems
Little Did We Know, Fido Was The Lucky One
The fact it’s been 24 hours
Since our commander-in-chiefs-to-be stood
And spoke live in front of the nation
About everything they think is good
And all we remember is laughing
At foreigners eating a pet
Is a sign of the fun we’ll be having
In the bunkers without internet.
Filed under Poems
You Never Know What You’re Gonna Get
They say life is like a box of chocolates
But I think it’s more like a Chinese buffet:
You get to eat as much as you can manage
But if it’s chicken or a puppy, who can say?
Filed under Poems
Talk On The Streets
There once was a potato named Joe
Who forgot how to talk on a show.
He had a sidekick
Who was black and a chick
And what’s that I hear? Overthrow?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 