I didn’t learn much at public school
But I remember the important stuff
Like “Everything in the world is free
“If you can run fast enough.”
Tag Archives: Cynical
Black Humor?
Leo asked, “Would you like to eat African food?”
We voted, and most voted, “Yea.”
Having said yes, Leo said, “Then I guess
“You and Africans feel the same way.”
Filed under Poems
Giant Meteor: Not A Viable Candidate… Too Likeable
If you say the truth’s important
But you’re lying,
If you say you’re in perfect health
But you’re dying,
If you say you’re a real lady
But you’re a gent
I think you have a shot to be
The US President.
Filed under Poems
Lucky for Me… I’m a 3!
She was meretricious
And he was five-foot-two
And yet somehow between them
Amorous feelings grew.
He thought she was a goddess
And she thought he was funny.
So go the lives of 4’s and 5’s
When they have boobs or money.
Filed under Poems
2021
Deep below, the hipster slugs
Are killing worms and taking drugs
And handing out free slimy hugs
And chanting “Slug Lives Matter.”
High above, against the odds,
Someone applauds the gastropods
And, thinking they are modern gods,
Eat escargot and grow fatter.
Filed under Poems
Conversation Openers
My wife starts conversations
By saying, “Hey there honey!”
My son starts conversations
By saying, “I need money.”
But no one beats my daughter
Who starts to talk to me
With, “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said!
“I hate you! OMG!”
Filed under Poems
Extinction, Past and Future
I used to be a Dodo bird
But then I went extinct.
I came back as a Quagga
And then a Cape Verde Great Skink.
I’ve been a Passenger Pigeon
And even a Lesser Bilby.
I’ve yet to be a 5’11 male human
But soon, I fear, I will be…
Filed under Poems
That Last One Will Hit You All Over The Place
No one will evacuate
For Hurricane Irma or Steve.
Those aren’t the type of names
That make Floridians leave.
I think we need more hurricanes
Like Hurricane Buried Alive,
Hurricane Dirt-On-The-Clintons,
Or Hurricane Black-Guy-High-Five.
Filed under Poems
We’ve Come A Long Way Since “Pong”
“Hey Mr. Producer Guy,
I’ve got a game idea
Where two people survive the apocalypse.”
“Sure, Mr. designer guy,
But instead of death and zombies
Make the focus on blooming relationships.”
“Great idea, but what if
Instead of playing through the game
Players watched long, scripted movies of themselves?”
“And what about having
Unskippable gay sex missions?
It’ll fly right off the shelves!”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 