The groundhog saw his shadow
And the Summer’s coming soon.
Now we have another choice:
Giant meteor or typhoon?
Tag Archives: Cynical
I Prefer My Bread And Circuses Half-Naked, Not Half-Witted
I can accept our world is being run
By faceless corporations
Who choose political puppets
To fulfill their machinations,
That we, the proletariat,
Cannot escape this iron grip
But why do they always pick old white dudes
And not hot girls? What a gyp!
Filed under Poems
High Resolutions
New year, new you?
You do that too?
So that makes two
Of us. Who knew!
New year, new me
Is how I see
My future will be
Until January 3.
Then new year’s old
Or so I’m told
So I’ll put on hold
My plans so bold.
Filed under Poems
The Gen Alpha Song
I was born too late for a peaceful life,
Born to a woman who was not a wife,
Raised by a screen and a TikTok star
With no life skills but a brand new car.
My first day of school was in my bedroom.
I made new friends with the help of Zoom.
My kindergarten cred was instantly blown
‘Cause I’m five years old but using last year’s phone.
I can’t read yet and that won’t change soon
‘Cause Alexa can read me Good Night Moon,
My browser can do homework for me
Thanks to indifferent teachers and a GPT.
By 2050 we’ll be on the presidential stage
Campaigning for a million dollar minimum wage
So better get some rizz unless you’ve got gyat
‘Cause here we come world, ready or not.
Filed under Poems
Not Saying Santa Advocates Piracy, But…
Jingle bells on a reindeer’s chest
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum
A long night ahead with not much rest
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum
The elves made toys
For good girls and boys
But what the kids today enjoy’s
An iThingy
In 4k HD
With a USB
And a ho ho ho and a bottle of rum
Nine deer flew but just six came back
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum
Three collapsed ‘neath the Chinese sack
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum
Chimneyless homes
With their bulletproof domes
Are wherever he roams
Gluten free cookie lasses
Left him soy milk glasses
Which make him pass gasses
So a ho ho ho and a bottle of rum
Fifteen elves still employed at best
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum
Xi Jinping gone outsourced the rest
So its ho ho ho and a bottle of rum
Filed under Poems
Watching The News
I, for one, am grateful
That 24 hours a day
I can turn a TV on
And learn I’m not ok
‘Cause someone in another state
Is angry and insisted
That the government fix an issue
That I didn’t know existed.
I’m glad I can be angry
On demand, and also wary
Now that I know a deadly thing
Is affirmed as “very scary”.
I’m also glad these stations
Are translated totally free
To whatever political language
Is most offensive to me!
We’re lucky seven corporations
Tell us the woes of corporate greed
While insuring that we’re well-informed
About what brand-name crap we need.
Anyway, I’m done complaining!
Now excuse me as I go
To learn about the trans kids
Swimming here from Mexico.
Filed under Poems
Take That, Nukes!
One upside of weak, nerdy young people
Is that they’ll probably invent Mjolnir
But because they’re so weak, they can’t lift it
And thus we have nothing to fear.
Filed under Poems
It’s All The Rage In The Middle East These Days!
I saw a survey at a shop
That made me pause, then fully stop.
It asked “What flavor would you want
“To drink here in our restaurant?”
I think they wanted “Pumpkin spice”,
“Caramel pecan”, or something nice.
I wrote “The blood of politicians
“Collected via millions of small incisions.”
Filed under Poems
And Then We Got The Modern TSA…
‘Twas the night before National Report Medicare Fraud Day
And all of the drama
Happened in NYC
Largely due to Osama.
The planes were a flying
And the pilots were wild
And the towers that were twins
Became an only-child.
But alas, that new status
Was not long for this world
As another plane crashed
And tower two curled.
Then we heard men exclaim
As the tow’rs became soil:
“Yay American unity!
“Now let’s go steal some oil.”
Filed under Poems
Now They’ve Even Surrendered To Themselves…
There once was a city in France
That was known for its light and romance.
Then the mideast said “Holla”
And immigrated with Allah
And we know now who’s wearing the pants.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 