There was an affordable city
That wasn’t all dirty and shitty.
Then it made the news
And earned plenty of views
And Californians are coming… a pity!
Tag Archives: Cynical
Another Reason Not To Trust Rhyming Dictionaries
I think if I were an animal
I’d be a sea anemone
Because they’re not a popular animal
And I like to be left alone.
Filed under Poems
Vegans Rejoice!
If you advertise a place
For a Weight Watchers meet and greet
But it’s not an officially-branded event
Is that an imitation pork meet?
Filed under Poems
I Stole This Joke (Like The Second Guy, Probably)
Racism is crazy!
Like if you punch a white guy
You get arrested for assault
And your mama will cry
But if you punch a black guy
In the belly or head
You’re impersonating
A police officer instead.
Filed under Poems
They Did This… Just Not For Us
If we’re forgiving student loans
I think we should consider
Just forgiving all debt ever.
Also, the getter-ridder
Should make everything be free
So everyone is wealthy!
Then we can sail our yachts and talk
About why the economy isn’t healthy.
Filed under Poems
Activism Today
The world has three types of people:
Those who raise awareness for issues,
Those who laugh at the awareness-raisers,
And those who think the other types
Should be the change they want to see.
Unfortunately, the type who make changes
Require a 200 GB update to the system
And God still has dialup.
Filed under Poems
Socialism
If at first you don’t succeed
Claim that you have higher need
Then take your handouts from the gov
‘Til bombs start dropping from above.
Filed under Poems
If You Don’t Think This Poem Rhymes, You’re A Racist
We were born in an America
Where if you TP a house
You’re arrested not for vandalism
But for cultural appropriation
Since some white chick heard “teepee”
And her grandmother was 1/8th Cherokee
And African Americans invented toilet paper
So you’re screwed either way.
Filed under Poems
My Sanctuary City Poem
Una vez hubo un copo de nieve cerca de ti.
Podrían ser homosexuales o judíos.
Envíales esta publicación
Como un asado sutil
Porque eso es lo que te pedí que hicieras.
Filed under Poems
The Whistleblower’s Poem
There once was a worker from Spain
Who manufactured a plane.
He said “This door’s for Boeing.
“Please don’t ask why it’s glowing.”
They said “Sure”, and then cut the cocaine.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 