Once some Spartans got bored
And one of them grabbed a sword.
They said “We can stab you
“Or instead spear you too”
And thus democracy was restored.
Tag Archives: Democracy
The Problem With Democracy (My Perspective Matters More)
“Do you see what I see”
Is a stupid thing to ask,
For though the subject we both see
May be a boot or flask
I see it in the sunset
Flanked by gorgeous fall of night
But by virtue of an angle
You see it framed by walls of white.
I can see what you see
And you can see what I.
We can say “that is a boot”
Though we each use a different eye.
So why not on social matters
Cannot we likewise more agree
That if a thing’s more beautiful
To you than ’tis to me
That the thing itself objectively
Is, regardless, unaffected?
Because it doesn’t help dividers
Unite short-sight to get elected.
Filed under Poems
A Treatise On Cooperation With Government… Sort Of
Two children sit and watch a thing
That’s orange and round and fun.
One says “it’s warm and so it must
“Be a piece of fallen sun.”
One says “I can slam dunk it
“So it’s a basketball.”
Another says “it’s a tangerine!
“Do you know nothing at all?”
And I, with silent others, watch
Them call a pizza many names.
Some kids voted between them
When the appropriate moment came,
Yet I, when shown a pizza
And was asked “robot or duck?”
Didn’t vote for either answer
Because dishonest answers suck.
As the other children compromised
And said “Fine! It’s a goat!”
I ate and shared the pizza
With the others who didn’t vote.
I Propose A New Form Of Government, With Blackjack… And Hookers
“People can’t be trusted
“To govern themselves.”
Thus spake the many to you.
“But we, the incompetent
“Untrustworthy many
“Have the wisdom to pick those who’ll do.”
And so those who can’t govern
Pick from among them
An elite narcissistic few
And that, my dear readers,
Is why we the people
Are quite democratically screwed.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Remember November
What’s sharp and made of plastic
And smells like chalk and spit?
I don’t know, but I’d enjoy
A chance to vote for it.
Filed under Poems
Yay Democracy!
Trying to fix politics
By working from within
Is like using a trowel
To fill the Grand Canyon in.
Alas, fixing politics
By showing up to vote
Is like taking that same trowel
To South Dakota via boat.
Filed under Poems
Democracy
Yesterday we witnessed
The biggest day of sports,
Which makes all the cups and series
Completely out of sorts.
It had been hyped for months
By that unbiased ad
Run by one guy, who says the other
Is really, really bad.
In yesterday’s match, two teams
Faced off to see just who
Got the pleasure of controlling
Their State, Country, and You.
The elephants and donkeys
Kicked and spat and grrred
And threw mud at each other
As if mud were an angry bird.
And then the fans arrived
To dance around the polls
While others searched on Google
For nearby grassy knolls.
The match begins! The ballots flow!
Single lines are drawn!
Proposed measures are considered!
The game continues on.
And at the end both teams will claim
That it is they who won the game.
Then it’s done; That’s all she wrote.
Aren’t you glad you got to vote?
The Daily Travesty 