Many chickens passed away
So you could have a meal.
You killed them and ate their eggs;
How does that make you feel?
Many chickens were beheaded,
Plucked, and fried in fat.
Because of that, I feel full
And I’m okay with that.
Tag Archives: food
All Part Of A Complete Breakfast
The toaster makes you crispy bread.
The fridge chills out your meals.
The plate will hold your citrus fruit
And the garbage holds the peels.
The dishwasher will clean things up
And there’s cereal on the shelf.
The pit trap on the front porch
Means you enjoy it by yourself.
Filed under Poems
Why Modern Poets Are Thin
A poem without rhyming’s
Like a cheeseburger without cheese,
A BLT with no tomato,
A bowl of carrots without peas.
A poem without rhyming
Lacks flavor and synergy
But alas I’m on a diet
And must cut whatever calories I can…
Filed under Poems
And What Did They Say About Dinero?
And herbivore eats herbs
And a carnivore eats meat
And an omnivore eats everything
Which I think’s really neat.
I don’t have a lot of money
And traveling in Spain was I
And somebody said “Por favor”
And now I’m just waiting to die.
Filed under Poems
Penne For Your Thoughts?
What if, when the world was new
And nothing breathed and nothing grew
A race of beasts made of spaghetti
Were getting set and getting ready
To build cities, slim and tall,
In which they’d gather, one and all,
Until the dinosaurs emerged
And the noodle cities were submerged
Beneath the oceans, wide and blue,
Until they used their magic to
Bring down a stone wide as ten miles
To do away with rude reptiles.
Now, again the Earth was theirs.
Out of the ocean they built stairs
Only to find, in the dinosaurs’ place
A young and vibrant human race.
This time instead of genocide
By meteor ten miles wide
They made the human race instead
Love noodles much like they loved bread.
So when the noodle race was old
And slightly stale and very cold
They smiled, knowing all was not lost. The
Human race would make more pasta!
Filed under Poems
But You Have To Pour The Milk First
One day at breakfast I asked my niece
“What if a bowl of cereal were all just one piece?”
My niece said, “I don’t mean to boast
“But I invented that cereal. I call it ‘Toast.’”
Filed under Poems
An Essential Part of a Healthy Diet
Somebody somewhere said “Sometime
“We should make a drink that tastes
“Like a combination of radio static
“And a big bin of nuclear wastes.”
Somebody nearby said “Sounds good,
“But I’m afraid I have bad news:
“Someone has already created that product.
“It’s called sparkling grapefruit juice.”
Filed under Poems
Who Doesn’t Want 30 Pounds Of Escargot, After All?
You know that food you enjoy
Every once in a while,
That you can heat in a minute
And always makes you smile?
What if that niche pleasure
Came in a 500 pack for a dollar?
If you want to pay us to buy that
Just give old Costco a holler!
Filed under Poems
When Evolution Works TOO Well
You’ve heard of Brontosaurus,
You’ve heard Triceratops,
Tyrannosaurus Rex of course,
And even the Cyclops,
But there’s one ancient animal
That didn’t live for long…
And that mystery dinosaur
Is the subject of this song:
I sing of Tacosaurus,
The terror of the south,
With a crispy shell of golden corn
And veggies in its mouth!
It roamed across the world until
Plant and meat eaters both
Decided they were tasty.
“Nom nom,” did others quoth.
So died the Tacosaurus,
But paleontologists think it’s swell
That such a mighty dinosaur
Was saved by the Taco Bell.
Filed under Poems
Why The White House Has Five Full-Time Chefs
I shouldn’t be the president
Because when I want a snack
I go to a take out restaraunt
And microwave it when I get back.
At first that won’t seem dangerous
Until my words are these:
“I’m feeling kinda hungry… hey!
“Why not nuke some Chinese?”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 