If you advertise a place
For a Weight Watchers meet and greet
But it’s not an officially-branded event
Is that an imitation pork meet?
Tag Archives: Humor
What Do You Mean We Have Weird Books In Our School Libraries?
Meet Vlad.
Vlad is sad.
Vlad thinks climate change is bad.
Vlad cannot cite sources? Woah!
But xe’s doing xir best though.
Vlad knows that to stop the pain
Of having marginally less rain
Because of heat that cow fart brings
Means having to do some painful things.
Vlad helps Earth by blocking cars
And hanging flyers up at bars.
Xe spray paints slogans over art
And lives out of a shopping cart.
Xe knows capitalism is bad.
And so is having a present dad.
Be like Vlad and we’ll show you lenience:
The climate depends on your inconvenience.
Filed under Poems
This Poem Is Sponsored By Thulium… Because Atomic Number 420 Doesn’t Exist Yet
I hope we never discover
Another element for the periodic table
‘Cause you know they’d name it “Deeznutzium”
Or something like that if they’re able.
Filed under Poems
I Think I Covered The Big Ones…
What type of Youtube watcher are you?
The type who watches that Indian dude?
Maybe the type who react to the trends
Or enjoys watching guys give cash to their friends?
Maybe you watch it for voice-to-text vids
Or use it to sedate your satanic kids?
If none of these channels tickles your tubes
Let me suggest another one – Boobs.
Filed under Poems
Shower Thoughts
What if we’re all identical twins
But, when we’re born, the nurse
Gets out an ultra-mega laser
And sets it to “reverse”
And our baby brain goes back in time
To when everyone was biologically unique
And we grow up thinking we’re special
Until the Invisible Ones start to speak?
Filed under Poems
Juneteenth
Today’s the day we celebrate
When the government was two years late
To tell the slaves that they were free
And now owe tax on property.
Filed under Poems
How Rappers Shop For Homes
The house was uninhabitable
But I am uninhibitable…
To squat is inevitably unethical
But the crime’s rhymes are inimitable!
Filed under Poems
Do Your Job!
I get that without spiders
Other bugs would be more numerous,
But I still find it sorta said
And even moreso humorous
That despite there being webs everywhere
The bugs are still voluminous.
This is the dilemma of our time
And a cornerstone of humanness.
Filed under Poems
If Only The Sea Level Could Rise Above Washington DC
In four more days the day will be
The longest of the year.
Today it’s fifty-eight outside
And I’m grinning ear to ear
‘Cause this means all our efforts
In the global warming fight
Have paid off, and we can repeal
The carbon tax now, right?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 