Tag Archives: Love

The Most Romantic Poem Ever That No Woman Will Understand

When my team is 8 and 6

And my fantasy QB gets sick

You’re the RB1 I start

And throw to when the ground is slick.

You’re the treadmill at the gym

In front of the TV

Where I can watch the Yankees lose

With nobody in front of me.

You’re someone I never thought

Was real, but here you are!

Like a white guy who hates frisbee sports

And never tried to learn guitar.

When I hold your hand I feel

Like I am good at math,

And if you asked me nicely

I might even take a bath.

I think you’re pretty naked

Or in a muumuu, though

I doubt there is a clothing item

That could dull your glow.

I would window shop with you

On our anniversary,

And when you sleep, on the toilet’s edge

I aim so you don’t hear me pee.

You smell like guacamole

And when you hold me tight

I forget to pull my belly in

And I know the world’s alright.

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Domesticity 2.0

I built two homes in my mind

On a foundation of good intent.

One was perfect, charming, yellow,

But alas away it went.

The second house is red and black

And full of song and sharing,

And though it also may away

It’s worthy of my daring.

This darker home reminds me

Of the prayers I spoke when young,

Of Autumn wind and springtime rain

And hymns borne from my tongue,

A home of possibilities

Where nothing goes unsaid.

God willing, we’ll build it together;

Until then, it’s in my head.

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The Heart Of Man

Sometimes when you look at me

Wide-eyed, uncertain,

The endless doubt and weariness fade

And I hold your hand softly

And kiss you gently;

My whole ego becomes weightless

And I know that I have you

And I don’t deserve you

And I would die a thousand times

To be with you just an hour more.

Sometimes when you look at me

Silently, deeply,

I know exactly how your heart

Is full of warm Summer breezes

And hibernating mammals

Warm in each others’ embrace

Beneath a cold, uncaring world.

Sometimes when you look at me

Gently, longingly,

I wonder how on earth

A stacked team like Rams

Can lose to the freakin’ 49ers in primetime;

Then I try to look at your tits

Without you noticing.

I can’t.

This is what it means to be a man.

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Gary Gygax Is My Promise Ring

Some people use condoms.

Some folks use the pill.

Some people are celibate.

There are other methods still;

My favorite of the methods

To prevent a pregnancy

Is by telling all my dates

That I play D&D.

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Awaken, My Love, To A Secret Gift

As every day the sun has risen

Since the day all men were born

To signal coming of a new day

By the sunlight through the corn,

By the very first song of the birds

Hidden in a distant tree

So do I hope my eyes will settle

On you lying next to me,

And as the sun casts shadows over

All that lives beneath the light

I hope my mind is full of mem’ries

Of what happened through the night.

As heaven transforms from black to gold

And clouds shift from orange to cream

And your eyes flicker and welcome me

I know I’ve achieved my dream.

As you see my smile widen more

Than it would by normal grace

You see into my mind and demand

“What did you draw on my face?”

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Never Again

To my one and only who left me to cry

Just a month after love in the month of July:

I hope in my heart you are happy and well

Though I know I won’t see you again!

To the one whom I sang to by river and trail

Without even a thought that our kinship could fail:

I hope in my heart that you’re singing right now

With a voice I’ll hear never again!

To the one I confided in joy and in pain,

Whom I kissed on a bridge in the darkness and rain:

I hope in my heart that you’ll never be lonely

Though I’ll never caress you again!

To the heart that you broke that is healing tonight

I promise you’ll once again feel alright!

I hope you keep hoping and loving forever,

For hoping for love is a worthy endeavor,

And because you loved once you’ll be light as a feather

Even if you love never again!

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Do Unto Others

There are two invisible powers

And both go by the name of “Love.”

Both share earthly symbols

Like a flower or a dove,

Both can feel spectacular

And to lose them feels rotten,

But only one is cherished

While the other is forgotten.

The first love, which we celebrate

Comes in many ways and rates,

Whether flourishing in one glance

Or through countless many dates.

It’s an all-consuming passion

That no drug can replicate,

Designed by God or nature

To ensure two people mate.

I prefer the second love,

Which many haven’t known,

Which can’t be felt by starry eyes

Or fire in the bone.

This love is not a feeling

But an action that we take

Not to gratify ourselves

But for another’s sake.

This second love is not reserved

For those with lovely faces.

Instead it’s most important for

Those found in darkened places,

And yet with equal vigor

To your wife and to your foe

You manifest the second love

And to both parties show.

You needn’t feel amorous

To help a stranger carry

A heavy bag, nor should you feel

Obliged to them to marry.

And yet the baffling part about

This second love these days

In when you show a person this

They’ll spurn it seven ways;

“Shee’s clingy,” or “He’s needy,”

Or “He’s trying way too hard,”

Or “He’s creepy,” or “She’s lying,

“So I must be on my guard.”

In most cases the rebuke

Is one of self-defense,

For many who show kindness

Are expecting recompense.

So when one shares the second love

For nothing but the good

It seems what was well-meaning

Is oft misunderstood.

I hope if you’re a giver

Of this secret second love,

The love for human brothers

Unconnected by their blood,

That you do not forget the gift

Or cease to feel or give,

For you’re an ever-scarcer breed

Who knows how best to live.

And if you may receive the gift

I formerly did mention

That you may understand it

As a love with good intention.

And if you’ve never thought of love

As something more than lust

I hope you read these verses

With an open mind, and trust

That if you try to love someone

For their sake, not your own,

That you will feel a universe

In which you’re less alone.

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Being An “Us” With No “Them”

When was the last time a stranger

Whispered something in your ear,

Whether something that was naughty

Or perhaps a secret fear,

Saying something so important

That they risked becoming near

To share with you a datum

Only you were fit to hear?

If you’ve never given quiet

I think you ought to try it.

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Coping

I’m reading a book recommended to me

By a woman whom I once adored.

I’m reading, avoiding inviting the world

For the world leaves me feeling ignored.

I make friends with a spider I’m terrified of

Who lives on my white bedroom wall;

I know he deserves life as much as I do

Even though he is creepy and small.

I’m wearing soft clothing, lying and waiting

And writing a poem in bed,

Remembering over and over forever

The words that I felt and I said.

I’m hearing the lawnmower, water through pipes,

The cars on the road passing by

Destined to be somewhere other than here

And I can’t help my wondering why.

Why is the grass not allowed to be growing?

Why must the spider bring fear?

Why do the people drive quickly to elsewhere

When they know they will end up back here?

Why do I care for an author’s opinion?

Why can’t I love people less?

All I can do is get up and keep smiling

And be me: a beautiful mess.

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Five-Year Plan (Updated)

There’s a little yellow house

With tulips in the yard,

Home to a pair of dreamers

And an angel on the way.

One of them’s a teacher.

Her husband is a bard

Who sits at a computer

Making problems go away.

The echo from a timeless love

A love that first began

When she asked him to talk about

His “perfect five-year plan.”

There’s a little library

Inside that yellow house,

A studio where students come

To learn the clarinet,

A kitchen big enough to please

The more attractive spouse,

And two young hearts forevermore

As full as they can get.

They’re thinking of the day he said

“I want to be your man,”

The first of many steps within

His perfect five-year plan.

You’ll never hear a hateful word

Be spoken bu them there.

They never let an apple sit

On any empty chair.

They smile at every photograph

Hung on the family wall,

But they won’t say what happens when

The captain comes to call.

And when the five year plan was done

And the house was home to four

He’d renew the five-year plan

Another lifetime more.

But there’s a little yellow house,

For-sale sign on the lawn.

It never was the home for them

The bard had counted on.

Turns out a five-year plan for two

Won’t work with only one

No matter how much someone cries

When they know that it’s done.

The perfect lifelong five-year plan

In three months was complete,

But when you love someone that much

You can’t call it defeat.

The sun still shines, the waves still crash,

There’s still a dusk and dawn.

The leaves are green, the rain is wet,

His eyes are nearly clear.

Just like the clouds that once were grey,

His heart is moving on

From yellow houses, unborn kids,

The teacher, and his fear.

The one thing he won’t leave behind

And knows he never can

Are memories that came to life

Thanks to a five-year plan.

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