There once was a bear with a shirt
Whose heart filled with blackness and hurt.
He had no friends or money
So he ate all the honey
And the end of the world did avert.
Tag Archives: Movies
Fantasy Movies
Once upon a time ago
When dragons ruled the Earth
A magic chosen one was born
On the day that was his birth.
He grew up like a normal child
With perfect grades and crap
Until eternal evil
Fell conveniently in his lap.
He walked through several biomes
While some epic music played
And met the one named female character
And somehow did not get laid
And then, at the end of the runtime,
The villain said “I’ll never die”
Then sky-beams and a sword through his head
Proved his last words were a lie.
Then the hero faced the rising sun
To a song by a knock-off Enya
And the nerds all left the theatre saying
“Let’s watch that again, ya?”
Filed under Poems
Movie Review: Avatar the Way of Water
There once was a blue guy from Pandora
Who experienced a biome diaspora.
He went from the trees
To live in the seas
But otherwise it was the exact same stora.
Filed under Poems
Batman
There once was a comic detective
Who had a unique bat perspective.
He had gadgets and jokes
‘Til the Hollywood folks
Said “Do more, but the fun is defective.”
Filed under Poems
Writer’s Strike or Poetic Justice?
I’m not sure which is better:
That Hollywood is on strike
Because computers can do their job better
And that they do not like
And now we won’t have any more
Reboots, remakes, or sequels?
Or that we finally see mindless machines
As movie writers’ equals?
Filed under Poems
Avatar, And The Poet Who Just Emerged From His Rock
There once was a billion-dollar movie
About some blue guys who were groovy.
I watched it tonight
And now I’ve seen the light
And I’m up to date with 2005. (Woohoo vee).
Filed under Poems
After I Die, This Blog Will Be Considered The Highest Of Art
I watched “Everything Everywhere All At Once”
And all I can think about now
Is that a movie that makes less sense than my poems
Won seven Oscars somehow…
Filed under Poems
Predicting the Future
The year was 2055
And Disney was somehow still alive.
Their greatest writer stood and said
“What if Black Panther was white instead?”
And coast to coast the people caved
As bloggers whined and critics raved
And I, at 60 years, just sat
Rewatching Shrek, and that was that.
Filed under Poems
Yes, This Poem Is Meaningless. That’s The Point (Or Is It? bum Bum BUUUUUUUUUUM!!!)
There once was a fellow name Mao
And nobody’s quite certain how
Without any trepidation
He subverted expectation
And that’s how you Hollywood now.
Filed under Poems
Yeah, It’s Annoying, Isn’t It! (My Next Poem Will Be Split Into Two Posts For Length)
There once was a cinematic sequel
With a cliffhanger end like no equal.
The heroes were shocked
When the villain they mocked
Turned out to be…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 