“The devil plays the violin,
The instrument of mortal sin.”
I told her this, then said hello.
#How to not pick up girls who play cello
Tag Archives: Music
If You Think This Poem Rhymes You Probably Aren’t Rich
You can tell if someone’s more likely
To play basketball or the harp
By whether they write #F
Or instead they write F#
Filed under Poems
Tonight: Shred Monkey (Ft. The Green Bay Packers)
When it comes to choosing my dream career
I’ve finally made a decision:
I’ve decided I want to be
A major league musician…
I want to be in a band so famous
They play quick football games during intermission.
Filed under Poems
If I’d Written This Ten Years Ago I’d Be A Prophet
As Booth did to Lincoln
And school did to fun
I fear that to music
Will quite soon be done.
If you flip the radio
(Or whichever app’s in now)
You’ll find to enunciate
Is practically sin now.
To play any chords
Besides 1, 5, 6, and 4
Makes the average listener
Call such songs a snore
And no matter the genre
You will find bits of rap.
Yes I fear that all music
Will soon become crap.
Is there a solution
To pop music’s decline?
If so, leave a comment.
If not, I’ll just whine.
Filed under Poems
Oh Sheet…
I started a band where we’d play
Stuff other folks played first. OK?
Then I did discover
Such a band’s called a Cover,
And thus I named our band “Duvet.”
Filed under Poems
We Need A Common Enemy
I think the USA should change
Their national anthem to
Taylor Swift’s rendition of
“Look what you made me do.”
It would soothe racial tensions
And bring the unity we lack
‘Cause everyone would kneel
And beg the feds to change it back.
Filed under Poems
…The Bass, That Is
My DJ name is “Other Shoe.”
I’m the cream of the DJ crop.
No matter what other DJs do
They wait for “Other Shoe” to drop…
Filed under Poems
Ode To A Xylophone
Thirty-six to forty-eight
Bars of polished wood
Cut in a way that they vibrate
To play the note they should.
It isn’t quite a saxophone
If used to woo the fairer sex
But out from the crowd it has grown
Because its name starts with an X.
Filed under Poems
Shucka-Shucka-Sucka! (Shucks?)
I once knew a Moroccan
Who thought that I was shockin’.
I gave him a shake
To see what sound he’d make
And he said “That’s a maraca, dumbass!”
Filed under Poems
I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For
I brought a dozen roses,
A diamond, and a kitten
To serenade by starlight
The lass with whom I’m smitten.
I sang “Every Breath You Take”
To my very special girl.
Then she locked me in her laser sights
And sang me “Goodbye Earl.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 