Did you hear about the filmmaker
Named “Very Clumsy Greg”
Who was famous on the set
For always hurting his leg?
Well, one day during filming
As a scene was to begin
He said, “Lights”, then he said “camera”,
And then he said, “Ack! Shin!”
Tag Archives: poems
How Little Things Change
In the days when Jesus walked the Earth
Many people had names
More akin to Shaniqua and Carston
Than Luke, Mary, Joseph, or James.
Those people lived lives that were normal and happy
But long since forgotten to time;
No one wrote a hymn for Shaniqua
Because it was too hard to rhyme.
Filed under Poems
Minimum Wage, No Respect, Nuclear Waste, And Now This?
A toast to all the henchmen,
The goons, the dorks, the minions
Who were killed by superheroes
Due to differences of opinions
Between said superheroes
And the employers of the underling throng
Who are alive and well in jail
‘Cause kids, killing is wrong.
Filed under Poems
Or Did The Fact They Never Heated Up Mean The Prophecy Came True After All?
Somebody said to the NFL
“You gotta cool your jets”.
Alas, the Jets were never cool
Not unlike marionettes.
Filed under Poems
They Were Viva-ing La Vida Alright…
There once was a CEO
Who went to a Coldplay show.
The HR-H.O.E.
Said, “Kiss cam? OMG!”
And now the whole world’s in the know.
Filed under Poems
The YouTuber’s Origin Story
One camera.
Two fools.
Three hours of editing.
Zero rules.
Nine minutes
About a cruise.
Two hours later
Seven views.
Filed under Poems
Harry Potter And The One Minute Of Missing Footage
Christmas at Hogwarts, 1997:
Harry Potter is in heaven
Opening gifts from his first ever friends
And hoping this day never ends
When off to the side he notices one
Nondescript little package and opens it. Fun!
Inside is a cloak made of magical paper
For invisible movement during a caper.
“How does it work?” Harry asked. Ron, compliant,
Said, “It’s made from the list of all Epstein’s clients.”
Then Harry nodded, his heart feeling zen,
And Professor Quirrel was never seen again.
Filed under Poems
Upsides
The nice thing about AI ads
Is that they’re poorly done
So I’ve no need to buy their stuff
And so declare we won.
Another proof of victory
Is that the CEOs shelled out
A lot of money for this tech
And thus without a doubt
Will double down on ineffective
Tools for advertising.
AI will bring a golden age
Of happily not buying!
Filed under Poems
Who Needs AI When You Have A Wife?
No AC?
Just live under a tree.
It’s cool as can be.
Just wait and see!
Filed under Poems
My Little Fountain
I have a fountain in my yard.
It doesn’t fountain very hard,
Just drips and drips onto a spot
And fills my hose when the weather’s hot.
Some may say that it’s a tap
But I think that’s a load of crap.
If soda and drinking fountains count
Then mine’s a fountain too by my account.
I’m proud of my little drippy fountain.
For it I’d move many a mountain
For when I’m a sweaty yard-working man
I drink from it just ‘cause I can.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 