I started a band where we’d play
Stuff other folks played first. OK?
Then I did discover
Such a band’s called a Cover,
And thus I named our band “Duvet.”
Tag Archives: poems
A Poet Has Needs
One thing about which I’m keen is
To write a bad poem about Venus.
That’s not really true…
I just wanted to
Justify ending a poem with “penis.”
Filed under Poems
What’s A Synonym For Thesaurus?
Within the next 26.07 fortnights
My predominant aspiration
Is to perpetuate the convention
Of heightened lexicon inflation.
Be not perturbed if reading this
Is an arduous endeavor:
Aspirations are ephemeral whilst
Prose-prevarication is forever.
——————————————————–
Next year my goal
Is to learn new words
But I’m also lazy
And learning’s for the birds.
——————————————————–
Me like words with lotsa letter
But me like to sleep-in better.
Filed under Poems
Hear Hear!
Here’s to the year
That’s drawing near
(Or, depending when you read this,
Is already here),
I year where the queer
Have no need to fear,
Where we can steer clear
Of those who would sneer
And our get-in-shape goals
Can go get back in gear.
May your pain disappear
In the upcoming year
And if you partook of beer
Of deer may you steer clear.
I hope that my well wishes
Have thus been made clear
For this poem, readers dear,
You will find endeth here.
Filed under Poems
Tomorrow I’ll Be Motivated
This year I wrote poems
In large quantities.
Next year I will do the same.
That’s why I don’t mind
That my poem this evening
Is a bit on the spectrum of lame.
Filed under Poems
Wizard, Meet Rogue
He said he had a magic trick
That always would impress.
He told me to pick any card
So I picked his American Express.
Filed under Poems
Just Peachy
I saw a gal I thought was cute
So I asked her thoughts on pitted fruit.
She said she thought plums were great
So I asked “How ’bout a date?”
Filed under Poems
What You Do When You Can’t Mock Kwanzaa Via Poetry And Keep Your Job
‘Twas the day after Christmas
And all through my mind
No ideas were stirring
Of the poetic kind.
I stood by the fire
While amidst the tumult
And I pumped out two stanzas,
This being the result.
Filed under Poems
Just A Century Ago
In the year 1918
Amidst a world we’ve never seen
The fighters of the first world war
Showed what God made our hearts for.
Among the trenches, wet and cold
A German soldier was so bold
As to sing, rather than fight,
A verse or two of “Silent Night.”
As dawn turned from gray to blue
One soldiers voice soon became two
And before the song was done
Two armies voices soon were one
And bayonets with white flags rose
And enemies came nose to nose
To swap greetings and cigarettes:
One Christmas morning, no regrets.
Whether trenches or safe spaces,
Between all people and all races
Lives a love that’s oft denied
That no longer should we hide.
If for a day or for a year
We sing of peace so foes can hear
Then whether brown or beige or black
We may just hear our foes sing back.
Filed under Poems
I’m Going To Say This Before Every Meal From Now On
Jesus was born in a manger
And in French “manger” means “to eat.”
I don’t know how that is relevant
But I still think it is neat.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 