And herbivore eats herbs
And a carnivore eats meat
And an omnivore eats everything
Which I think’s really neat.
I don’t have a lot of money
And traveling in Spain was I
And somebody said “Por favor”
And now I’m just waiting to die.
Tag Archives: Poetry
Poke Holes In This Strategy If You Can
I think all the world’s problems
Could be solved in a day if we
Just banded together to kill politicians
Whose surnames don’t end with “qz”.
Filed under Poems
Take A Day Off Y’all
There once was a guy from Kentucky
Who was, by coincidence, lucky.
Nowhere in his brain
Did he care about Ukraine.
Be like him, and enjoy this cute ducky:
Filed under Poems
Two Useless English Bits
The top of the list of what shouldn’t exist
But exist they continue to do
Would probably be the letter C
But I think it should be the word “queue”.
Filed under Poems
What Do We Want? Catchy Slogan! Where Do We Want Them? On Premium Cardstock!
As people protest from the East to the West
Why aren’t more onlookers suspicious
Of the motives behind the folks who sell signs?
(Or is thinking such things inauspicious?)
Filed under Poems
Ode To Retiring At 65
I got through a day that was difficult
Like climbing the face of a hill
By sacrificing the strength if my body
And exercising my will.
Long are the days that I labor
But worthy are arduous climbs,
Or so I thought ‘til I realized
I have to do this 11,000 more times…
Filed under Poems
Yeah, Like My Coworkers Read My Blog… 😂
There once was a poet at work
(I’m at lunch, so naught do I shirk).
I ate quickly so
I cranked out a po
Em. How’s that for a quirk?
Filed under Poems
Buck Shot, But Not Well
Sometimes when it’s peaceful
In the evening by the stream
I like to lie beside the bank
And oh-so-gently dream
That as the humans hunt the deer
The deer hunt us the same,
But humans never notice this
‘Cause deer have lousy aim.
Filed under Poems
At Least I Commit To Finishing Acrostics Though
I is for the intimacy we have yet to share
M is for the the many ways I show you I care
N is for how no one can compare
E is for “except that girl who has the pretty hair.”
V is for how very sorry I will claim to be
E is for that exceptional hair I never will unsee…
R is for I’m really sorry this time. Forgive me?
G is for the gift I’ll buy to say that I’m sorry
E is for how every day you give me another chance.
T is for the tightness you inspire in my pants
T is for your temperance, which totally rhymes with “dance”
I is for how I hope to rekindle our romance
N is for how nuts it is I ogle other girls
G is for “good thing I’m not into hair with sexy curls.”
L is for how light catches her hair as it unfurls…
A is for “Alright, alright! I’ll buy you some new pearls.”
I is for I really wish I were a better dude
D is for “Doggone it, if you weren’t such a prude…”
A is for apologizing for how I am lewd
G is for the golden curls falling upon the nude…
A is for “At least I didn’t finish the previous line.”
I is for the infinite ways you, my dear, are fine.
N is the never being bad again if you’ll remain as mine.
! is the punctuation after you vehemently decline.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 