Tag Archives: Poetry

Sonnet For The Digital Age

That we who have become so enlightened

To place a mind into machines would first

Use this power (of which we should be frightened)

To animate naked people is cursed.

We’ve woven tales: losing jobs to robots

And our humanity to gigabytes,

Thinking humans will become the have-nots

And electricity will off our lights.

But in creating technical wonder

We have revealed a deeper part of us:

Our minds divert from the wealthy’s plunder

To the size of robo-ladies cy-busts.

Artificial intelligence kills not:

Instead, it lets us chase electric thot.

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Fable Of A Missing Cat

Kitty in the city

Went a wandering. Owner’s pondering

Where there cat be at

And will it be back? Night is black

And the feline made a beeline

Not thinking of the sinking

Feeling and sorrowful reeling

That has his human worried and fumin’.

For one whole day it stayed away

And then at twilight thought “Well alright

“I’ll return, for my human doth yearn

“For me to pee

“In his home. I shan’t roam.”

And thus the the cat said that was that.

Yet now he purrs as the wanderlust stirs…

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A Travesty Guide To The Identification Of Wild Berries

Blackberries have thorns

And grow up in the wild.

Whiteberries are bad at basketball

And their bathrooms are well tiled.

Asianberries have good grades

Which means they understand

That whiteberries are not a thing

And this poem got out of hand.

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The Consequences Of Bad Parenting

Where once there was a monument

There’s now some mossy rubble.

The world was once a peaceful place

But now’s awash with trouble.

The air is filled with fire

And the sky is full of ash

Because your six-year-old ignored you

When you said “Don’t do anything rash.”

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When You Have A Daily Blog And Need A Day Off… The To-Do List

Drive to Canada

To see a show with my Mom

And write this haiku

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Why Robots Won’t Replace Men

No amount of flattery

Can restore an empty battery

But a little flirting can

Reenergize almost any man.

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I Asked My Fiance To Write The Odd-Numbered Lines And I’d Handle The Rhyming…

Fan.

Man.

TV.

Stevie.

Watch.

Crotch.

Orange.

Yeah… this is what I signed up for

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Sort Of An Umbrella Poem About… Well, You Get It

Sometimes a banana is just a banana

And a tree is just a big, stiff, and girthy

And if you don’t know how torpedos fit in

Then your mind has yet to become worthy.

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That Would Probably Bug Him

I think when the Buddha slept

He gave thanks for having grand wits

And also that no one referred to him

As Mr. Praying Man-Tits.

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I Am Become Dum Dum Tss *Xylophone Noises*

Sometimes I wonder about the guy

Who took the default background photos

Or composed the ringtones for the popular phones

Or wrote the “you’re on hold” jazz

And I wonder if they are proud

Or ashamed of what they’ve created,

Sort of like the nuclear bomb

But without the violence

And they can watch anime in peace.

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