So Tuesday night on ABC
Two candidates arrived
And competed for whose speeches
Sounded the least contrived.
Some faces asked them questions
Which neither deigned to answer.
It assured me of my decision:
That it’s time to vote for cancer.
Tag Archives: Politically Incorrect
Socialism
If at first you don’t succeed
Claim that you have higher need
Then take your handouts from the gov
‘Til bombs start dropping from above.
Filed under Poems
My Sanctuary City Poem
Una vez hubo un copo de nieve cerca de ti.
Podrían ser homosexuales o judíos.
Envíales esta publicación
Como un asado sutil
Porque eso es lo que te pedí que hicieras.
Filed under Poems
If Greta Thunberg Were Black
There once was a bigass windmill
That stood on a bigass hill.
A bigass gust of wind
Made the bigass fan spinned
So why I still got a power bill?
Filed under Poems
Looking Forward To The Olympics
Americans love their football teams.
Canadians love their hockey.
Mexicans are the cross country champs.
In China it’s boxing (Not like Rocky).
Filed under Poems
I Prefer My Bread And Circuses Half-Naked, Not Half-Witted
I can accept our world is being run
By faceless corporations
Who choose political puppets
To fulfill their machinations,
That we, the proletariat,
Cannot escape this iron grip
But why do they always pick old white dudes
And not hot girls? What a gyp!
Filed under Poems
Bill Jigger Gets Rejected From MIT
Bill Nye became a science guy
Because he rhymed his name
But my parents still won’t tell me why
I cannot do the same…
Filed under Poems
The NBA Breathes A Sigh Of Relief…
One upside of trans acceptance
Is that in ten years women’s sports
Will probably make a profit
Now that men are on the courts.
Filed under Poems
A Travesty Guide To The Identification Of Wild Berries
Blackberries have thorns
And grow up in the wild.
Whiteberries are bad at basketball
And their bathrooms are well tiled.
Asianberries have good grades
Which means they understand
That whiteberries are not a thing
And this poem got out of hand.
Filed under Poems
The Butterfly Effect
There comes a time in every man’s life
Where he is trapped with his female kin
And there’s crying and talking and crafting galore
And he’s trying his best to fit in
But after an hour of trying to talk
And solve problems, he has an epiphany:
His life as he knows it is over because
He hit on a waitress named Tiffany…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 