A black guy names his kid J’Kwon
And no one bats an eye.
In Florida kids are named X-wing
And no one asks them why.
I choose a name like this
For the son I fathered
But when I say “My son, Z’Kyle”
The jews get hot and bothered…
Tag Archives: Postaday
Polar Bear Illiteracy Kills
A polar bear showed up today
Covered in blood, he smiled: “Hey!”
Think of why. What’s that? You can’t, huh?
Maybe it was ’cause I mentioned “Mall Santa…”
This poem was intended for December, but apparently you can’t schedule a post that far in advance. Just don’t read this for 270 days, ok?
Filed under Poems
Be Like The Index Toe
If you don’t eat roast beef
You’ll do all right.
If you have none
There’s no need to fight.
If you go to market
You’re fine by me
But it’s best to stay home
And go “wee wee wee wee.”
Filed under Poems
How To Do A Day’s Work In 60 Seconds Or Less
If anyone ever says
“Speed matters more than quality”
Show ’em this poem
‘Cause that’ll show ’em!
Filed under Poems
‘Twas the Best Of Times…
I studied some Spanish
And read a good book,
I exercised daily
And learned how to cook,
I got six pack abs
And I learned how to dance.
But I just can’t recall
What it’s like to wear pants…
Filed under Poems
The Purpose of a Bird
What is the purpose of a bird?
To fly? To eat? To breed?
Is its life a thing of choice
Or else of merely need?
If its purpose is to fly
But, hatching from its shell
Is born without the wings to fly
Can life be ever well?
If its purpose is to eat
But lacking seed or prey
Can the bird starve nobly
As nature has its way?
If its purpose is to breed
But has no living mate
Is the bird worthwhile still
Despite its desperate fate?
And what of birds within their egg
Afraid to face the light
For fear of life without a mate
Or lack of food or flight,
Who lay inside their egg, so warm,
Who never hurt or cry?
Are they blessed who never live
For they shall never die?
What is the purpose of a bird
Who cannot do a thing?
To live in stillness silently
Or else, perhaps, to sing.
Filed under Poems
The Chosen Pun
We’re locked in our houses
Away from the world,
Sanitizing ourselves
As our lives come unfurled.
As we wipe down possessions
The thing I don’t get
Is why “Spring Cleaning” jokes
Aren’t popular yet.
Filed under Poems
If You Don’t Think This Poem Is Ironic, You’re Part Of The Problem
There’s no place for intolerance
Among people I know.
If you’re someone intolerant
Then you had better go.
Intolerance is evil
And if you disagree
Then you should be ashamed
And also learn to think like me!
Filed under Poems
If You Want A Cure By February…
We’ve spent weeks in quarantine
And doubt is setting in.
Our leaders have ignored
The simplest way to win
This war against a virus.
We ask: Why haven’t they
Called Chuck Norris on the phone
To make it go away?
Filed under Poems
The Buck Stops Here
I’ve been working the suicide hotline
For the better part of a year
But when someone says
“I want to jump in front of a car”
I can’t help but say, “Oh deer!”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 