I woke up to a naked woman
Playfully hitting me with foam
Which makes me think tomorrow
Grandma’s going to a home.
Tag Archives: Postaday
I Started Out Inspired…
I have a feather duster
For if my birds get dusty.
I’ve got a picture frame
Just in case I commit a crime.
I’ve got a pizza face
For if I’m feeling crusty.
What I don’t have is a clue
Of how to end this poem in a satisfying way.
Geographically Limited
I wish I had a pirate ship
To show off to my neighbors,
To terrorize the waterways
And make legends of my labors.
I’d earn the love of ladies fair
And earn the lawmen’s hate.
Yes, I’d be the best damn pirate
In Arizona state.
Filed under Poems
My Life At This Moment
I’ve been awake
For fourty hours now.
Almost got murdered
By a stray dog tonight.
I’m whiter than mayo
Or milk from a cow
But they released #PokemonGo
So I guess I’m alright.
Filed under Poems
Akin to Areas Without Allstate Coverage
I once sold tires for Goodyear
But my sales hit a kink.
We had a bad year at Goodyear.
Now I don’t know what to think.
Filed under Poems
The Gingerbread’s Regrets
I told them to run, run, run.
In fact, I mercilessly taunted.
Alas the final result
Was nothing like what I wanted.
I did not fully consider
When all was said and done
The degree of just how slowly
We cookie-men can run.
Filed under Poems
It’s All Aroun’, Bringin’ Us Down
What comes up
Must come down.
What goes sideways, as it turns out
Also must come down.
What doesn’t move at all
Never will go up.
It is for these reasons
That gravity makes a crappy topic
For poetry.
Filed under Poems
See Spot Run
See spot run.
Spot runs fast
Because if Spot
Comes in last
Spot will lose
His family’s approval
Which will lead, in relation
To his house, his removal.
Spot enjoys
Not living on the street
So Spot runs fast.
Of foot, he is fleet.
Spot comes in second
Which Jane thinks is slick.
Alas, Spot’s owner
Is a Dick.
Filed under Poems
Missing My Step, Son
I’m just walking,
Nothing special going on,
When I realize suddenly
That you’re absent, gone.
My sudden epiphany
Hits me right in the spine,
So I said “watch out for the drop”
To the next guy in line.
Filed under Poems
The Consequences of Peace
My baggage is here.
I’m safe and happy
Which means once again
These poems will be short and crappy.
The Daily Travesty 