Imagine there’s a world where aliens
Use human to wash dishes after a meal
And now you have a better sense
Of how sponges probably feel.
Tag Archives: Short
The Fourteenth and Fifteenth Words Prove I’m Lying
Someone approached my wife and asked her
“Is your man a good multitasker?”
My wife said, “No, he’s really bad.”
I stopped listening then so I could get mad.
Filed under Poems
Difficulties In Treating Dyslexia
If you need to do brain surgery
Make sure someone sees ya
‘Cause otherwise you might mix up
Euthanasia and anesthesia.
Filed under Poems
Capitalism In Action
People are saying college is expensive,
That $100,000 in debt isn’t fine.
I worked hard to get a scholarship
And only owe $99,999.99
Filed under Poems
Disagreement For Dummies
John said the best year
To be a sardine
Was 1783.
I think the best year
Was 1790
And thus John is dead to me.
Filed under Poems
Hey Batter Batter…
I’m my softball league’s head chef;
For optimal nutrition
I like to make a Bundt cake
To get guys in a scoring position.
Filed under Poems
My Dating Algorithm (1-10)
To find a man’s value
Divide his income by 10,000
Then subtract two to compensate.
To find a woman’s value
Call her a ten
(If she has a penis, call her an eight).
Filed under Poems
Watch Yourself
Please keep the word mum
‘Cause I did something dumb:
I ordered a clock.
Now at my door, a knock!
I fear my time has come…
Filed under Poems
Search Engine Optimization
If you need to find info
Page 1 of Google’s where to go.
If you need to hide a thing
I’d suggest page 1 of Bing.
Filed under Poems
The English Language Is Biased Against Non-Diurnal Happenstances, And I Won’t Stand For It!
For things in the past people will say
“Things in the past happened yesterday.”
But what I think just isn’t right
Is why we don’t say “Yesternight.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 