If you grew a six-foot long beard
You’d probably think it was weird
But after a while
You’d probably smile
And think “This ain’t as bad as I feared.”
And if a six-foot beard grew you
It would not know what to do
Because shaving’s a pain
And beards don’t have a brain.
These dilemmas are why I’m not a jew.
Filed under Poems
Who drove by a lemonade stand
And thought about it later
And decided, instead of lemons,
The -ade would be better with gators?
Filed under Poems
If you took the Bible
And replaced the words “Mommy, look!”
With “I like to eat babies”
You’d have the very same book.
The same can be said for “Croissant,”
And “Wherefore art thou Juliet.”
I find it quite surprising
No one’s written a thesis on this yet.
Filed under Poems
H is for “Hey hot stuff!”
E is for “Eek! Sorry mom.”
Y is for “Yikes.”
Filed under Poems
I once saw a lass dressed in lace
Who had the most beautiful face.
I said “please don’t hate
“But my name’s Windows 8.”
Then I asked “Can I crash at your place?”
As Dumbledore once said
When called upon to speak:
“I have a few words to say:
“Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak.”
These words describe my mental state
It’s been that sort of week.
Filed under Poems
Eye halve know aye Dia
Howe thoughs hoo dew knot no
How-to spellin’ English
Kant fig your it out, sew
Threw this Han dee poem
I salve Mai own dill Emma.
Hi expect, inn learning spannish
Their Will bee Noooooo! problema.
Filed under Poems
Roses are red,
Roses are white,
Roses are yellow and pink.
Your are like a rose
As you have many facets
But, unlike a rose, they all stink.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 