I lost my job this morning.
I was notified by text:
“Thanks for your time with us.
“Good luck on whatever comes next.”
I knew after I told my boss
My thoughts I couldn’t debate it…
“100 million sperm, and somehow
“You’re the one who made it?”
Tag Archives: Short
A Serving Is What You Eat On One Sitting, Right?
I used to wonder why grocery stores
Wrote the word “Oreos” on the box
When they only pack one serving.
Also, why’ve I outgrown my socks?
Filed under Poems
Language: Olde vs. New
A missionary came to me
And my friend Javier
Asking “Do you accept Jesus
“As your Lord and Savior?”
Another missionary
Fulfilled his role
By asking “Do you want an extended warranty
“For your soul?”
Filed under Poems
Pasta My Prime
Tonight my inspiration is limited.
The scope of it is teeny,
So suffice it to say
I found out today
A wimpy Italian is a lingweeny.
Filed under Poems
Transparency Matters
A ghost arrived in the afterlife
Having committed suicide.
The other ghosts surrounded him. “Oh dear!
“Why did you end your life like that?“
The new ghost said “Communication!
“The truth is I just wanted to be clear.”
Filed under Poems
Next You’ll Tell Me Hot Sauce Bottles Breathe Fire…
Sometimes I wish
That I were a fish,
But then I think
“What if I sink?”
Just then my daughter
Said “Fish can breathe water.”
I said “You wish!
“Fish can just holds fish.”
Filed under Poems
A New Study Finds All This Began In 1960 When A Straight White Man Refused To Get Vaccinated
The average guy is a virgin.
The average girl is a hoe.
You can get a college degree
To combat toxic masculinity…
How’d we get here? I don’t know.
Filed under Poems
Still No Cure For Cancer Though…
Every minute of every day
72 hours of film is uploaded and sent
Onto Youtube, and yet still people say
“Why’s there no good new content?”
Filed under Poems
The Quickest Of Ego Boosts
If you’re feeling blue
Because Summer turned to Fall
Just change your name to Brandon
And learn to love football.
Filed under Poems
Hirsute, But Not Her Suitable
There once was a man from St. Mary
Who’d be merry to marry Merry Mary.
Merry Mary, however,
Did forthrightly endeavor
Never ever to wed one so hairy.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 