Tag Archives: Silly

Songs of the American South

Black Lyrics

Sometimes I ponder

That yonder fonder rapper,

That slapper of the fapper

Who use the public crapper

Just writes, night after nights,

Under fluorescent lights

Whatever rhymes, even if that means

He writes more wrongs than rights

‘Cause the whites, they delight

In da light skin they got,

They ain’t thought how we fought

‘Cause our families were caught

And sold in days of old for a handful of gold.

Dig it?

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White Lyrics

Hey baby, I’m thinkin’

That since we’ve been drinkin’

And we got us a truck

Let’s roll up a joint

And drive to make-out point

And shoot us a deer or a duck!

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If They Only Had A Brain…

Some zombies caught diseases

That made them long for brains.

Some are raised by the magic

That a necromancer trains.

Some become a zombie for

No reason we can see

But most zombies decided

To major in sociology.

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One Thing Most Of You Will Never Have To Worry About

If you’re ever taking a walk

And you’re an amateur mime named Jean-Jacques

You’d be an unlucky bloke

If you had a stroke

But oh, how the viewers would talk!

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Yet More Biblical Scholarship

When Jesus was a baby,

Two or three years maybe,

He probably had a phase of asking “why?”

“Why was I born a Jew?”

“Why’re the sky and water blue?”

“Why don’t wise men ever bring me pie?”

And I’m inspired by Mary,

As her baby she did carry

For It must take considerable skill

To look at Baby God

With a motherly sort of nod

And answer him “Because it is your will.”

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Genesis

God made twelve hours of light and dark

In an alternating way

Then sat a while

And with a smile

Decided to call it a day.

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…Or Girls In General, For That Matter

“The devil plays the violin,

The instrument of mortal sin.”

I told her this, then said hello.

#How to not pick up girls who play cello

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Mom Was Right

There comes a time in our epoch

When you face the toughest of fights,

You, insignificant human

Alone with the crusher of lights,

A few hundred pounds of soft tissue

Versus a beast from which no one can hide

But you have one ally to help you:

You can turn off the screen and go outside.

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Shakespeares’s Cat

Kitty kitty

Of my heart,

Who’s a good cat?

Verily, thou art!

I say to thee

A coochy-coo

For who art the cutest?

‘Tis you! ‘Tis you!

Kitty kitty

Ball of fur,

What pleasures come

When you doth purr!

My only wish

For you is yon:

Do sheath your claws

‘Till break of dawn.

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Guys and Dolls, Mother Russia Edition

I once went shopping at the mall

With a Russian guy and a Russian doll.

The Russian guy could reach the top shelf

But the Russian doll was too full of herself.

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Star Wars Episode IX

The stormtrooper lands

In Nairobi, Kenya

And fires his blaster

Into the falling H2O.

The Jedi asks the trooper

“What was all that?”

And the trooper says

“I miss the rains down in Africa.”

*Roll Credits*

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