I’ve heard people say leftists are happy
With Trump’s economics. A specific
Comment I heard is that they are feeling
A really strong feeling of tariff-ick.
Tag Archives: Travesty
The Marital Bed
There once was a bed with a pillow
Then a wife did enter the room
And thus my one-pillow system
Began to sense its doom.
First came two big long pillows
That stretched across the bed
And did everything a pillow should
Except help rest your head.
Then came two fluffy square ones
That aren’t the same color or size
Because apparently symmetry
Is not good for a female’s eyes.
Then came that little round novelty
With a pic of my mother-in-law
And now I don’t sleep with a pillow at all,
Put my head on mattress all raw.
Filed under Poems
Let Freedom Ring!
Imagine a world where all is at peace,
A world without hunger or toil,
And ponder how easy a thing it would be
To go bomb them and take all their oil.
Filed under Poems
Shakespeare 101
Once in fair Europe two men
Were squabbling comedically when
The audience got bored
So they pulled out a seord
And everyone dies in the end.
Filed under Poems
Ode To An English Major
In a dreary campus sat
Poor I, a poet, much perturbed
For I was realizing that
My odds of passing were disturbed.
Th’examination that I took
Was one on poetry, so I
Did not much study from my book
But sat the test, my brain still dry.
Yes, I could name poetic styles
Sonnet, Sestina, Villanelle.
I blacked out bubbles, full of smiles,
‘Til did important topics knell.
I can distinguish couplet forms
Iamb, Trochee, and Anapest.
Easily I fought these questions swarmed
But failed at what mattered best:
A final question on the page
The exam’s author failed to anoint
And my lack of answer caused me rage.
The question: “What’s the fucking point?”
Filed under Poems
P. Diddy? More Like R. Chaic! (Gregorian Ba Dum Tss)
I suspect between 476-1450 AD
The pedophiles cried and raged
Because even the youngest of children
Were all still middle aged.
Filed under Poems
Felines Don’t Count Syllables
Tonight I’m a cat.
Why don’t you write me a poem?
Also, feed me peasant.
Filed under Poems
Why Aren’t Billionaires Doing This?
When I get rich, I want to buy
All the ads for my favorite shows
And just put a 3-second picture up
To make sure everyone knows
That the reason you don’t have to watch
A billion stupid ads
Is because I’m rich and I think they suck
So enjoy the bandwidth, lads!
Chief Energizer Officer Sought For Fast-Paced Executive Opportunity
We’re hiring for a guinea pig
To work for forty hours
Making coffee for the mucky-mucks
With offices in towers.
The role pays $20k a year
So let’s post the job. Maybe
We’ll say that it pays 50k
And needs a master’s degree!
Filed under Poems
The 30-Second Poetry Special
A poet once went on a break
Which turned out to be a mistake
‘Cause he hurried to finish
His limerick, diminish
Ing his perfect lyrical break.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 