Tag Archives: Travesty

What I Think Of During Meetings

Thanks to fluorescent lighting

You see a hundred smiling faces

Of a hundred unhappy people

Just covering their bases.

There’s a slideshow on the laptop

That was made the night before

That will make investors happy

And will make the buyers poor.

The conference room has donuts

And the chairs are soft and red

And you eat the sweet, admit defeat,

And notice that you’re dead.

But if you have a family,

A student, and a friend,

And half as many fucks to give

You’ll know its not the end

But instead you’ll move toward the light

In the corner of the page

And start to live the life you had

When you still knew your age.

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New Slogan Unlocked?

I’m not too good at poetry

So instead of trying to push

I’ve decided to stop my poetry

And just write poebush.

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Where Do You See Yourself In 50 Years?

In the year 2075

I’ll be watching Star Wars 25

With my grandkid, Skibidaura

And sentient Venusian flora

And I’ll wonder why I’m still alive.

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Things We Can Learn From Kids

At what age can you no longer say

“Do you want to be friends?” to a stranger?

It seems to be somewhere between six and 90

And otherwise they call you “Danger”.

But I think the world would be happier

If we’d ask to be friends way more often.

Sure, they can say “no”, but give it some time

And society will soon start to soften.

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Qui Gonn Logic

Crazy little slave

Killed an army just for kicks.

Better train the kid!

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They’re Selling My Childhood, And I’m All For It

I used to be excited

When new video games released

So I could see new features

And how the quality increased.

Now I watch the new releases

And I’m on the lookout for

The rereleases of the games

Made in 2004.

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Tick Tock? Wait… That’s Not Right…

I had an hour this evening

So I watched Youtube for ten minutes.

Now it’s Saturday morning.

Funny how life goes, innit?

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Technology? Up! Art? Ummmm… I’m Probably Not Qualified To Judge, But…

A lot of people are amazed

How in one hundred years

We went from riding horses

To the moon and diet beers.

What I find less impressive

Is that in that same epoch

We went from the Statue of David

To “Is this bedazzled pineapple a joke?”

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Is It Too Late To Enlist?

I wished to be a poet. I thought that would be fine

But I had to be a sailor; I could only write two lines

And a gee and a hey and doodle dawdle yah!

Oh my English class was easy, that much is very true,

But I’d only write twelve syllables and not a whole haiku

And a gee and a hey and doodle dawdle yah!

But if you have no talent for stayin’ ‘round a while

They told me that the Navy would snap me up and smile

And a gee and a hey and doodle dawdle yah!

Turns out in the Navy there’s a whole entire job

For writing two line songs to sing while cleanin’ with a swab

And a gee and a hey and doodle dawdle yah!

My captain has a button that can nuke our enemies

But I can make him tap his foot across the seven seas

And a gee and a hey and doodle dawdle yah!

And a gee!

And a hey!

And doodle

Dawdle

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

(Mic drop)

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Ready To Change The World?

If you’re thinking of a career change

One job has quite low stress:

Suicide bombers will always retire

Right after their greatest success.

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