There once was a writer’s-blocked poet
Who needed to write but didn’t want to blow it.
He Googled “poetry prompt generator”
And five minutes later
Took a photo of the prompt, and here he will show it:
Tag Archives: True Story
Morning At The Vineyard
It’s morning at the vineyard
And the weather’s looking fine!
We sing hurrah and pick syrah
By bunches off the vine.
There’s Malbec for our jelly
And cabernet for wine,
Filling bucket after bucket
With pickers numbering nine.
My girl may have partaken
Of a bottle from last year.
The leaves stay green and limber
Though its fruit will disappear.
With truck beds full and spirits high
We loose a mirthful cheer!
Now we’re on the highway home
With the pickers we hold dear.
Tomorrow we’ll de-stem the lot
And barrel it to wait
Until next year’s excursion
Or ‘til 2028.
It’s a family tradition
So we all participate,
Bottling mornings in the vineyard,
Packing memories by the crate.
Filed under Poems
I’m Like Mario, But Not As Famous Or Italian Or As Irrationally Compelled To Hit My Head On Boxes
Today my shower broke
And it sprayed everywhere.
The hose that moved the water
Had ripped a mighty tear
So I went to Home Depot
And bought a fixy thing
With a non-torn doohickey
And an intact rubber ring.
I screwed it on the spiggot
Where the water starts to pour
But with the new doohickey
The flow’s not limited anymore
And it makes an awesome shower,
Like emptying ten semi trucks
Full of water. One more reason
Why life in California sucks!
Filed under Poems
Art School Pays Off
Today I drew a cat.
Everyone said “Nice pig.”
They recognized it was an animal
Which, progress-wise, I think is big!
Filed under Poems
Never Ask Family For Poetic Inspiration After 9:00 P.M.
There once was box knife named “Cat Scratch”
And Brian May’s guitar named “Big Red”
And my mom said “Write about rhubarb”
And now I’m going to bed.
Filed under Poems
True Love, 2022
Upon the sofa down we sat,
Eating ice cream, happy, fat,
Eyes on the TV, wearing no pants:
This is my ideal of romance!
Filed under Poems
Also, I Won My Girl A Stuffed Llama, So I’m A Better Boyfriend Than You 😋
I went to the state fair today;
We ate scones and rolled in the hay.
We waited in line
Both to ride and to dine
But ‘twas worth it for plenty of play.
Filed under Poems
Episode 12: A New Hope
There once was a Seahawks QB
Who wore a shirt that said “3”.
The fans said “Oh no”
When they watched Russell go
But now they chant “Geno for me!”
Filed under Poems
Game Niiiiiiight! *Pumps Fist And Hurts Shoulder In The Dorkiest Possible Way*
Today I was a prophetess
Who traveled with two mules
Slaying monsters o’er the realm
According to the rules.
I was struck down by a dwarf
After a clash of elder magic
Because I rolled the dice with death
And my results were tragic.
Four hours were by family spent
In quest for crown and glory.
After that, we ate pizza rolls
And thus endeth the story.
Filed under Poems
All The Low Notes, All At Once, Fortissimo… An Unexpected Climax
Men, you probably know by now
About romantic passion,
And how the ambiance before
Takes quite a bit to fashion.
One must say the secret words
To snare a woman’s heart
And have stamina and strength enough
To delay that tempting fart.
Tonight I learned another step
That our ancestors did
That promoted procreation:
They closed the piano keyboard lid.
Alas, I lacked their wisdom
And an Earth that might have shaken
Is now not more than legend
Thanks to the route the cat has taken.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 