Every night I go to sleep
After a simple prayer
When I recall the Star Wars sequels
And wish they weren’t there.
Every day when I awake
My wish was not obeyed,
But someday soon we’ll see a world
In which only six were made…
Tag Archives: Truth
Different Decade, Same Crap
It’s been exactly ten years today
Since I wrote my first post here:
May 28th, the fateful day,
2012 the fateful year.
Back then people were afraid
The Mayan calendar was done
And the world would finish with it
And nobody had fun.
If they looked ahead ten years
To life in 2022
They’d try to ask the Mayans
Why they didn’t follow through.
Filed under Poems
Things That Lasted Waaay Too Long
First there was Vietnam
Then the second gulf war…
Now I’m curious how many years
The Amber Heard trial goes for.
Filed under Poems
In Other News, How Did 10:53 Become “Late”?
There once was a poet in bed
With ideas flush in his head,
But he stayed ip too late
And, as was his fate,
He dashed down a limerick instead.
Filed under Poems
True Stories from a Man’s Kitchen
Today I made some cheesecake
That I got from a mix.
I mixed a lime and whipping cream
With several cream cheese sticks,
But when I picked the mixer
To taste the final yum
I realized I forgot to add the mix
And yes, I’m really that dumb!
Filed under Poems
Her Heroes?
My lady likes a hairy man
Who eats his food straight from a can,
Walks silently around the house
And saved her from a wild mouse.
Her dream guy sleeps both long and hard.
Around him she lets down her guard.
He can snuggle up at night
And make the whole world feel alright.
She likes the feeling of his tongue,
Not worried he’s no longer young.
The only worry I have is that
Is this guy me, or is it her cat?
Filed under Poems
But They Still Need Taxes?
“What comes up must come down”
My teacher told me with a frown,
But here’s a thing that I don’t get:
Why isn’t that true for government debt?
Filed under Poems
Only Washingtonians Will Appreciate The Absurdity
Today it rained in the morning,
From dawn ‘til the sunset was yella’
And I saw the craziest out-of-town guy
Who for some reason had an umbrella!
Filed under Poems
My Evening Routine
I’m writing this poem
As I’m brushing my teeth,
Hunting down food bits
All hidden beneath
The sharp, off-white bone spurs
That jut from my gum.
My teeth are all clean now
But my rhymes are still dumb.
Filed under Poems
A Midlife Crisis At Any Age
I bought a ‘57 Chevy
(Or what’s left of it, at least)
And I fixed it up so I
Could be a sexy beast.
I cruised it up and down the block
To pick up saucy chicks.
Alas, my ‘57 Chevy
Doesn’t hide that I’m 86.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 