Today’s the day we celebrate
When the government was two years late
To tell the slaves that they were free
And now owe tax on property.
Category Archives: Poems
How Rappers Shop For Homes
The house was uninhabitable
But I am uninhibitable…
To squat is inevitably unethical
But the crime’s rhymes are inimitable!
Filed under Poems
Do Your Job!
I get that without spiders
Other bugs would be more numerous,
But I still find it sorta said
And even moreso humorous
That despite there being webs everywhere
The bugs are still voluminous.
This is the dilemma of our time
And a cornerstone of humanness.
Filed under Poems
If Only The Sea Level Could Rise Above Washington DC
In four more days the day will be
The longest of the year.
Today it’s fifty-eight outside
And I’m grinning ear to ear
‘Cause this means all our efforts
In the global warming fight
Have paid off, and we can repeal
The carbon tax now, right?
Filed under Poems
Dear IRS…
If I had a yeasty codpiece
That was trolled through mud and sludge
And then ground into a powder
And baked into a toxic fudge
That was fed to pigs with cholera
Who shat it into a vial
I’d rather take a shot of it
Than pay you to e-file.
Filed under Poems
Rare Steak: Origins
Once, a guy ordered a steak
But the chef’s credentials were fake.
He said “Blood means its yummy.
“Raw is good for your tummy.”
And now that’s just what people make.
Filed under Poems
I Stole This Joke (Like The Second Guy, Probably)
Racism is crazy!
Like if you punch a white guy
You get arrested for assault
And your mama will cry
But if you punch a black guy
In the belly or head
You’re impersonating
A police officer instead.
Filed under Poems
But Where Do Beans And Maracas Factor In?
What if the key to all great things
Is eating rice and learning piano?
That’s why the asians are kicking our butts
And historically life’s been so-so?
What if, on the other hand, music and rice
Are a poison that slows down the mind
And they’re all that’s between Kwon-Jun
And leaving the rest of humanity behind?
Filed under Poems
Today’s Tech News
They announced today that Apple
Will be adding ChatGPT
Directly into devices
And integrating it with Siri.
They’re acting like that’s fancy
But I think it’s no cause for cheers…
Hollywood’s had ChatGPT
In theaters for years.
Filed under Poems
Now THIS Is A Social Movement I Can Get Behind
If we all just agreed not to buy
What we see on TV for a year
We could put advertising behind us
And forever be ad-free and clear
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 