I’ve invented a new cocktail
That’s a lot like a White Russian
But without the vodka, liqueur, cream, or ice.
It’s called a “Political Discussion”.
Category Archives: Poems
The Butterfly Effect
There comes a time in every man’s life
Where he is trapped with his female kin
And there’s crying and talking and crafting galore
And he’s trying his best to fit in
But after an hour of trying to talk
And solve problems, he has an epiphany:
His life as he knows it is over because
He hit on a waitress named Tiffany…
Filed under Poems
The Ends Justify The Means
I think the government should give everyone
A tiger to keep as a pet. Sure,
A lot of dumb people might become Fancy Feast
But traffic would be so much better!
Filed under Poems
If It Worked For Church And State, Try It For Man And Machine
With people being all concerned
About AI taking over these days
I think I have a solution
To combat the malaise:
Instead of names like “Cleverbot”,
Or “Alexa”, we can swerve
And name all robots “Killmonger 3000”
And we’ll trust them as much as they deserve.
Filed under Poems
I Could Go On, But I Don’t Want To Peacock
I wish we called colors by animal names
Because it’s infinitely more awesome
To paint a car shark instead of just grey
Or pour cream ‘til your coffee is possum.
Filed under Poems
Limerick for a Job Interview
There once was a gap in a resumé
That occurred when the candidate was away
‘Cause when you’ve had enough crap
Turns out a resumé gap
Can be just what you need. Okay?
Filed under Poems
An Accurate Portrayal Of Tension Is Limited By The Medium Of Expression
I’m on bad wifi
Trying to publish a post
But I think it might…
Filed under Poems
Root Beer
It’s brown, sweet, and bubbly
With plenty of fuzz
And it foams when you pour it
‘Cause that’s what it does.
But why I really love it
Is it’s the only thing that never
Appears in advertisements
Anywhere, ever!
Filed under Poems
Man’s Favorite Hobby
Sometimes you go to the bathroom
To just get away from it all
Or sometimes you make a poop
That’s the color of Darth Maul.
They both take about the same time
To finish, which is alright.
I did one while writing this poem
So you’re welcome. Now good night.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 