There twice was an unlikeable chick
Who expressed her detractors were “Ick”.
She lost to a man
With a very fake tan
And I’m not opposed to the schtick.
Tag Archives: America
What Really Matters
‘Teas the night of the election
And all round the world
All the people were asking
“Why’d they kill the poor squirrel?”
Filed under Poems
Dear Every Channel Today, Apparently…
If you feel the need to change our minds
Two days before our votes are cast
I suggest that your campaign was crap
And the time for changing minds has passed.
Filed under Poems
If We Change “Private” To “Assistant Director Of Infantry Fieldwork And Individual Contributor To Combat Superiority” Maybe More People Would Enlist?
Instead of drafting young people
Without an education
And sending them to fight for us
In a far-off destination
Why don’t we draft the people who
Have four words or more in their job
Because they’re clearly competent
And if they die nobody will sob?
Filed under Poems
We’re Almost Done! (Repeat The Line)
There once was a politician (read: liar)
Whose teleprompter went haywire.
She said “34 days”
About 34 ways
And CNN wrote “…continues to inspire.”
Filed under Poems
Heroes On The Ground Delivering You Live Coverage
There once was a Hurricane Milton
And for donations the news went a guiltin’.
They had guys in the storm
With hair in good form
Filming live from the Atlanta Hilton.
Filed under Poems
Book Review: “The Accomplishments of Kamala Harris”
Kamala is a person
Who’s been in political office for years.
The following are her accomplishments
That distinguish her from peers:
Filed under Poems
If Timmy Were Trans, This Would Still Be In Your School’s Library
Timmy wasn’t happy.
Timmy threw a fit.
Timmy is annoying.
He’s a little piece of shit.
Timmy has a blanket
That teacher took away.
Timmy started crying
‘Cause he’s dumb and fat and gay.
The office called Ms. Timmy
And said “your son is sad”.
Ms. Timmy said, “He should be
“‘Cause he never met his dad.”
Then Timmy got a rifle
From the democratic party
And he took a shot at Donald
And now they call him “Smarty.”
Filed under Poems
No One Beats America… Even America
Some say we need to make America
A strong, resilient nation again.
To those people I would ask
To name exactly when
Our country, whose brave leaders
Are vegetables and crooks,
Whose best and brightest students
Struggle reading chapter books,
Whose economy is imaginary
And whose borders are nonexistent
And is still full of opportunity
Stopped being so resilient?
Filed under Poems
My Daily Contribution To Nonviolent Language
I think rehabilitated homeless people
Should be called “Ikean Americans”
Because they used to live in boxes
But now they’re all put together
Just sayin’
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 