Kamala is a person
Who’s been in political office for years.
The following are her accomplishments
That distinguish her from peers:
Tag Archives: America
If Timmy Were Trans, This Would Still Be In Your School’s Library
Timmy wasn’t happy.
Timmy threw a fit.
Timmy is annoying.
He’s a little piece of shit.
Timmy has a blanket
That teacher took away.
Timmy started crying
‘Cause he’s dumb and fat and gay.
The office called Ms. Timmy
And said “your son is sad”.
Ms. Timmy said, “He should be
“‘Cause he never met his dad.”
Then Timmy got a rifle
From the democratic party
And he took a shot at Donald
And now they call him “Smarty.”
Filed under Poems
No One Beats America… Even America
Some say we need to make America
A strong, resilient nation again.
To those people I would ask
To name exactly when
Our country, whose brave leaders
Are vegetables and crooks,
Whose best and brightest students
Struggle reading chapter books,
Whose economy is imaginary
And whose borders are nonexistent
And is still full of opportunity
Stopped being so resilient?
Filed under Poems
My Daily Contribution To Nonviolent Language
I think rehabilitated homeless people
Should be called “Ikean Americans”
Because they used to live in boxes
But now they’re all put together
Just sayin’
Filed under Poems
Four Years Is A Long Time To Not Be Held Accountable
If we held an election
Every 3 months, I’ve found
That three months before each election
The price of gas would go down,
Mortgage and interest rates lower,
Groceries cost less to buy,
And if your candidate loses
You only suffer three months of “that guy.”
Filed under Poems
How To Become Student Body President In 2024
The homework problem said:
“What is the natural log of 4?”
I said “I was raised a middle-class kid, and I’m the only person on the debate stage tonight who has a plan to lift up the middle class and working people of America.”
Apparently, I got a perfect score.
Filed under Poems
Of All The Laws That Could Backfire Magnificently, THAT’S Where You Draw The Line?
So memes are illegal in California
And guns are illegal in cities
And being illegal is totally legal
And we still haven’t freed the titties?
Filed under Poems
Cletus Prepares For Hurricane Charlene
Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall.
Ninety-nine bottles of beer…
The weather is dicey
But plywood is pricey
Thus ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall!
Filed under Poems
Little Did We Know, Fido Was The Lucky One
The fact it’s been 24 hours
Since our commander-in-chiefs-to-be stood
And spoke live in front of the nation
About everything they think is good
And all we remember is laughing
At foreigners eating a pet
Is a sign of the fun we’ll be having
In the bunkers without internet.
Filed under Poems
Debate Recap 2024
So Tuesday night on ABC
Two candidates arrived
And competed for whose speeches
Sounded the least contrived.
Some faces asked them questions
Which neither deigned to answer.
It assured me of my decision:
That it’s time to vote for cancer.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 