Tag Archives: Feminism

The History Of Feminism

Once there was an open sky,

Then the humans came on by.

They said “freedoms a pain in the ass,”

And thus were born kings and the ceiling of glass.

This order remained for centuries

Until the women said “ah jeez.”

They got mad and up they spoke

Until, at last, the ceiling broke.

Somewhere then along the line

When everything was going fine

The newly freed hankered for more

And so they made a new glass floor.

They made the men upon it stand

While together chicks did band

And told the men “call us lovely and dear

“And say we’re perfect, BUT BE SINCERE!”

And so the men did as they were tasked

And said the things the women asked,

But alas, that wasn’t good enough.

And so was born the third-wave stuff.

And now the men stand on a cracked glass floor.

One misstep and they’ll step no more.

This poem’s moral must be stressed:

Women are still the ones oppressed.

1 Comment

Filed under Poems

Apparently Pearls And Swine Are Equal

A feminist told me

“All men are pigs!”

And I almost took some offense.

Then another told me

“Men and women are equal.”

Now the first woman’s making more sense.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

To Those Of The Feminist Persuasion, We Salute You Whether Or Not You Think It’s Necessary (Or Even Admirable For That Matter) Because We Have Fragile Egos Or A Sense Of Courtesy Or Perpetual Boners Or Something

Chivalry is the idea

That men are born to places

Where they should sacrifice their pleasure

For the sake of pretty faces.

Feminism is the idea

That men are born as assholes

And should sacrifice their pleasure

‘Cause women deserve castles.

The masculine perspective

Is one of courtesy, not necessity.

The feminine perspective

Is “don’t be nice, yet show respect for me.”

So after certain days of chivalry,

Whether or not there was a need for it,

I question the fundamental premise

That a woman cannot indeed be hit.

Now I’m not a violent person;

I’d never hit someone, regardless of adjective,

But a fruit rollup to the face or something

Could do wonders to change a perspective?

So to sum up, chivalry’s alive

Just like the naked mole rat,

Yet some people will prefer “equality”

Just like, for a pet, they’d like a housecat.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Feminist Fairy Tales

Once upon a time

There lived a lovely dame

Who got stolen by a dragon

Which she thought was pretty lame.

No one came to rescue her

Cause didn’t need no man.

The princes stayed at home

And got flabby eating flan.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

And He Didn’t Even Get A Chance To Write A Title

Way way back in time

Before to burp was an imposition

And male dinosaurs ruled the earth

And female dinosaurs stayed in the kitchen…

Editor’s Note: This poem was never finished as the poet was brutally crushed to death by a vengeful time-traveling she-brontasaurus who is also your mother.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Love In The Time Of #YesAllWomen

He offers a sideways glance.

She says “I have a boyfriend.”

Because of the the few, so many

Potential friendships this way end.

2 Comments

Filed under Poems

Men’s Studies

I want to understand people.

I want them to make sense,

But I don’t like psychology.

I took women’s studies classes.

I took men’s studies too,

But those ones they called “history.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

To The Advocates, From The Rest Of Us

Hush little humans
On your little web.
I’ve heard what you have to say.
I get all your points
About women’s equality
And equal marriage for the gay.

I get that you love
Your body and stuff.
I don’t mind pictures of your meal.
Just don’t be expectant
That your Upworthy link
Is enough to make me squeal.

I’m all for justice,
I’m all for change,
And I’ll give all your causes a look.
I just wish for a day
Your beliefs went away
And I could be bourgeois on Facebook.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems