I’m not lying. I’m just saying
That you appear as if you’re weighing
More than your real weight suggests…
Ok, you do look fat in that dress.
Tag Archives: Humor
Another Inconvenient Truth
If you’re struggling in your career
Give Hollywood a call
Because there’s no script for a 67 movie yet
And they’ll take anything at all.
Filed under Poems
Book Review: A Dark And Horny Knight
It’s about this guy who’s a demon
With virile and plentiful… oh lord.
I tried dear, I swear
But I really don’t dare
To review the books that have you screamin’.
Filed under Poems
If You Know, You Know
Halloween one-shot
Playing long past 9:00 PM
My nerd social life
Filed under Poems
Adventures in Undead Education
Little Dracula was a fool.
Little Dracula didn’t go to school.
His one weakness he could not surmount:
Little Dracula could not count.
Filed under Poems
K-5 Education
If you could just close your mouths
And let your feet be still
Your mind would find a sense of peace
And overflow with skill.
If you could keep your eyes on me
And your hands to yourself
You’d find your time so much more free
And your talent upper shelf.
If you could focus for a blink
And persevere a while
You’d all be smarter than you think
And make a teacher smile.
And yet as you deny these things
I’m please to end a day
When you can do a two-plus-two
And know that biting’s not ok.
Filed under Poems
Sincerely, Guys
Event people nationwide
I humbly implore you:
If you have a craft fair
You should have a gun show too
So mom can get a crocheted scarf
And dad a .22
Filed under Poems
A 30-Something’s Review of Fortnite
In my day, our violent games
Were about shooting guys and taking names.
Now you skydive, camp, and swim
And randomly change from her to him,
Running from a big pink cloud
And avoiding things that are scary or loud.
When I was young, you daren’t mess up
But now I guess we get to dress up?
Filed under Poems
Endings Are Overrated. Candles, Not So Much.
Lights are flickering.
Dire rain and wind give me
An excuse to post…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 