Tag Archives: poems

But They’re So Big!

I think if we sold ostrich eggs

Instead of chicken eggs, we’d find

That what I think’s a good idea

Is not what anyone else had in mind.

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Unbearable

If you say “I pike pandas” everyone smiles

If you say “I don’t like koalas” that’s fine

Say what you want about grizzlies and polars

But you mention the blacks and they lose their minds…

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Now They’ve Even Surrendered To Themselves…

There once was a city in France

That was known for its light and romance.

Then the mideast said “Holla”

And immigrated with Allah

And we know now who’s wearing the pants.

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Also, We Had To Use The Pythagorean Theorem To Calculate Burrowing Speed, So We Are Nerdier Than Thee

We stayed up late

Playing D&D.

Yay for my players

But woe for readers (aka thee).

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Geolo-Gee Whiz!

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery

But I’m not sure about that though;

In my opinion, the highest form of flattery

Would have to be a plateau.

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What Google Taught Me About History

The dinosaurs roamed the earth

Until God said “Here’s Wifi”

And then they stopped jumping cactuses

And proceeded to die.

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But Hey, Four Rhymes!

As the sun sets in the evening

And the frogs croak merrily

I sit upon a bed and write

A poem, verily.

When read aloud it would be best

To speak most airily

For the effort I put in could be

Described as “barely”.

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See Also: “See”, “Sea”, “C”, “Si”…

If I could have dinner with anyone

From any point in history

I would choose the guy who decided

How to spell the animal “Bee”.

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How About A Good Humbling?

I sorta hope the next disease

That brings the whole world to its knees

Can break the part of DNA’s lock

That makes “important” people talk.

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Is Giving Them The Finger Still Rude If They’re Missing One?

A bunch of years ago we said

“Hey King, screw your royal head”

And dumped a hunch of tea into

A bay to say “Bugger off to you.”

Now I think that united spirit

Should say to those who care to hear it

“You’re free to use 2:00 AM fireworks

“But if you do you’re also jerks.”

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