I tuned my guitar
Then unplugged the beepy things.
What a quiet crowd…
Tag Archives: Poetry
Man’s Best Friend Meets “The Man”
I was running with my dog
One Wednesday afternoon
When my puppy’s nose did spy
Malodorous raccoon.
Not the type to laugh at fate
My dog took up the chase.
Going zero to sixty in 3.2,
He should’ve won the race.
Alas, he turned a corner
Onto Lincoln Parkway South…
A german shepherd police dog
With radar gun in mouth!
I figured it was funny
Knowing the dog had snatched the gun
But funnier was how my pup
Went sixty to zero in 2.1
We got off with a growl,
The raccoon nowhere in sight.
I guess I should be grateful
That my puppy’s fur is white!
Filed under Poems
Low Siento…
Somewhere, there’s a Mexican wizard
Who can’t hear what people say.
I’ve heard he’s a deaf supremacist
And a member of the “Que? Que? Que?”
Filed under Poems
Fear Not Weather’s Wonders
One wonders whether weather
Wonders whether weather was
A wandering weather whither
else wandering thither just because.
But whether weather wanders
Hither, thither, or wherever
One’s wandering wonder weathers
Weather’s wonders well forever.
Filed under Poems
…Or Something
I’ve read too much to enjoy reading,
Seen to many masterpieces to appreciate beauty.
I am inspired by only passions fleeting,
Never by oughts, my skill, my duty.
To know and love and worship and create
Guides the eye to their lover’s flawed face,
Opening pinholes to unfamiliar hate
That will never be known to those casually committed to their passions.
I will not chase or slay dragons.
I will not rescue or respect damsels.
I will enjoy every moment once
And never seek out or create its sequel.
I want to know love,
And I learn through unfamiliarity.
Filed under Poems
Kindness
I offered a homeless guy a place
To sleep under my roof.
He said to me, “I’m not a ceiling fan.”
Then to himself: “Lol, what a goof!”
Filed under Poems
LGBTQ, Not 10JQKA
I like to play poker with drag queens
‘Cause whenever they draw an ace
You know right away
‘Cause you know what they say:
They struggle to keep a straight face.
Filed under Poems
Sacrifice
She had wavy golden hair
That fell below her knees
The color of the summer sun
And lighter than a breeze.
She cut it when we married,
Though it was at my behest:
The hair would have been lovely
If it weren’t on her chest.
Filed under Poems
Do It Already!
Close my eyes and listen
To the gently falling rain,
Wishing all the while
That you, dear reader, will refrain
From noticing the fact
That I made a mistake,
For this poem is a command.
What a difference “I” can make…
Filed under Poems
Yes, My Carpet Is Beige. How Are You?
I took some tests last weekend
And got results today.
The good news: I’m not pregnant
And my blood pressure’s okay,
My cholesterol is healthy
And my IQ’s 121.
The bad news: My personality test
Indicates that I have none.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 