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Tag Archives: Poetry
My Favorite Superhero
We’ve got people addicted to drugs,
Alcohol, porn, and their phones
Yet my cat hears someone say “pspspspsps”
And just feels content deep in his bones.
Filed under Poems
A Practical Alternative to Thoughts and Prayers
I think we need a reverse Make-a-Wish
Where kids with cancer go see
Some self-absorbed millionaire bozos
Who’re all caught up in “poor me”,
And little bald Kaleb can smile
And give Mr. Rich a high five.
If we do this enough they might donate stuff
And the cancer kids might stay alive.
Filed under Poems
Amusing Musings In A World Without Muses Blues
Today I got up early
Around 5:00 AM or so. Um,
I spent my morning working
But not writing a poem.
I ate my lunch and read a book
With my mind never immersed
In considering a meter
Nor its counterpart of verse.
This evening after dinner
I took a shower hot
And massaged my wife’s posterior
Without a single thought
Regarding writing poetry,
Yet presently I’m writing it
So if you’d beat your writer’s block
Perhaps you should stop fighting it.
Filed under Poems
Cosmic Injustice
Mercury has thermometers.
Venus has carnivorous plants.
Mars has chocolate candy
But Earth gets freakin’ ants?!
Filed under Poems
Frodo’s Notes In The Margin
“Bring the ring to Mordor, kid”
Gandalf told me and so I did.
It caused me scars that forever linger,
Mostly that I can’t give Gandalf the finger.
Filed under Poems
Thanks, Millennials
If you’d like a hamburger
It only costs a dollar.
If you want cheese on it
It’ll cost you dollars two.
Want to add some bacon?
That’s two dollars fifty.
Want some avacado?
Your firstborn kid will do.
Filed under Poems
Still Better Than JJ Abrams
Did you hear about the filmmaker
Named “Very Clumsy Greg”
Who was famous on the set
For always hurting his leg?
Well, one day during filming
As a scene was to begin
He said, “Lights”, then he said “camera”,
And then he said, “Ack! Shin!”
Filed under Poems
How Little Things Change
In the days when Jesus walked the Earth
Many people had names
More akin to Shaniqua and Carston
Than Luke, Mary, Joseph, or James.
Those people lived lives that were normal and happy
But long since forgotten to time;
No one wrote a hymn for Shaniqua
Because it was too hard to rhyme.
Filed under Poems
Minimum Wage, No Respect, Nuclear Waste, And Now This?
A toast to all the henchmen,
The goons, the dorks, the minions
Who were killed by superheroes
Due to differences of opinions
Between said superheroes
And the employers of the underling throng
Who are alive and well in jail
‘Cause kids, killing is wrong.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 