Shelly sells seashells at the seashore.
Nobody quite knows what she does this for.
No one buys the shells she sells, so I am pondering
If Shelly’s shells are a shell business for money laundering.
Tag Archives: Poetry
The First Packaging Scam
We complain about shrinkflation
Like half-empty bags of chips
Or getting a 15-ounce container
With just 12 ounces of dips
And yet for all my lifetime
We’ve still bought those honey bears
And you can’t squeeze honey through their neck
But no one really cares…
Filed under Poems
The Internet Is On Life Support
So you’re telling me your business
Uses AI to write reviews
To improve my website traffic
And increase my daily views?
Then you show your website
And your 4.9 on Yelp
And expect me to believe you?
No, I do not need your help.
Filed under Poems
The Finalists For The 2025 Missing Championship
Epstein client list
Inner city black father
Livable wage jobs
Filed under Poems
Video Killed The Radio Star, But Older (Enhanced Interrogation Edition)
I feel sorry for the guy
Who invented the torture rack,
The iron maiden, the eyeball-scooper thing,
And other tools to make folks crack
Because all of his inventions
Were obsolete in 1723
When Pierre Fauchard came to town
And invented dentistry.
Filed under Poems
I’m Sorry I Asked
“Why do you have a dog poop bag
“If you don’t have a dog?“
“I still have poop though, don’t I?“
-Conversations from my jog
Filed under Poems
Golfing
One under is a birdie.
An even score is par.
One over is a bogey.
What I got is a Zanzibar.
Filed under Poems
Indian Fireworks Vs. The Legal Crap
Fireworks and fireworks!
Kazam! Kazee! Badoo!
One flies up and lights the sky;
It makes me think of you.
Fireworks and fireworks
Far as the eye can see!
One flies up and fizzles;
It makes you think of me.
Filed under Poems
How To Reduce Noise Pollution And Increase The Average IQ In America In One Morally-Grey Step
So folks are setting off fireworks
On the night of July 3rd
And at first, I’ll admit I was tempted
To flip such folks the bird.
In the spirit of peace and happiness
I instead propose humbly
To instead give them drugs and fireworks
In massive quantities.
Sure, this year the death toll
May be massive, but I say
It’s a way to purge the people
Who can’t wait just one more day.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 