‘Twas a full moon
And the night-things were howling.
I was iff on my own
‘Cause my girlfriend was scowling.
She’s usually laid back,
Accepting, and kind
But once every month
She goes out if her mind.
She nags and she whimpers.
She speaks only commands.
Her heart freezes over
And she speaks with her hands.
I’ve put the time on my calendar;
I am no fool.
When the werewife awakens
It’s time to leave and play pool.
Filed under Poems
Mu magazine subscription
Six years ago did end,
And thus I am assured
I’ll never miss an issue again.
Filed under Poems
When a dog is very, very bad…
Beyond the “cone of shame,”
…They travel to an island
Where everything smells the same.
Squirrels and deer and rabbits
Run freely on the grasses
While dogs are put in kennels
And can’t sniff each others’ asses.
Every night they take a bath
And get their toenails groomed.
Some dogs end up someone’s bitch.
Some dogs end up perfumed.
They serve a 12-month sentence
That feels like seven years.
Some dogs come in, well… intact,
But they come out as steers.
So don’t be a bad doggie
All covered in piercings and tats,
‘Cause what I forgot to mention is
The place is run by cats!
Filed under Poems
Furtive glances;
Still no wi-fi.
Previous posts say
“1d, 2d, 3d, 3d, 5d…”
I hope four days ago
My scheduled poem posted.
Then I wonder:
Am I the only one who cares?
Then my little voice answers:
“Yes.”
Thanks little voice.
Filed under Poems
Bouquet of flowers
Delivered to me.
No name on the card,
And no giver I see.
I’m but an inpatient
At the amnesiac’s ward.
Sending stuff to myself
Is it’s own reward.
Sitting in the park
Amidst green and verdant trees
Checking my Facebook.
Filed under Poems
Sitting in the park
Amidst green and verdant trees
Checking my Facebook.
Filed under Poems
I’m very proud if my teammate, Ted
Who always… ALWAYS… Gets out of bed.
You really proud of my teammate, Ben,
Who almosy always gets a few out of ten.
I’m really proud of my teammate Jon,
Who really has improved a ton.
But I’m noy proud of my teammate Rick.
Our MVP… What a dick!
Filed under Poems
We found the corners.
We built the edge.
We stuck some ins to some outs,
Then we jumped off a ledge.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 