Tag Archives: Short

Remember This In The Pandemic Of 2119

If instead of wearing masks

And going to school and work online

We had just put on some badass capes

The kids would all be fine.

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My Conversation Tomorrow After I Get To Work With Two Hours Of Sleep

D and D went long.

We were fighting evil frogs!

What do you mean, “Nerd”?

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Liar Or Grammar Nazi… Which Is Worse?

They say there was a mermaid

With a very short torso

Even though she was seven feet long.

Some people have told me

That it’s a tall tale

And I tell them they spelled “tail” wrong.

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Wife Logic

Standing up to pee

Is the privilege men receive

For killing spiders

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The Hero’s Journey

There was a reluctant young hero

Whose number of close friends was zero.

An old mentor said “Hey,

“Want to come save the day?”

Kid agreed, and the whole world did cheer-o.

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If You Can’t Beat ‘Em

If you can’t beat ‘em, beat ‘em.

They’ll expect tou join them instead

So you have the element of surprise

If you beat ‘em and mess with their head.

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Who Needs A Kid When You Have…

Big fat ginger cat

Satan in a fluffy ball

He deserves more food

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Every. Single. Month.

In thirty seconds

She can laugh and scream and weep

‘Cause water is wet

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Same Goes For Penguins, Emus, Dodos…

If you ever see an ostrich

Don’t hit it with a stick

‘Cause when it comes to fight or flight

You know which it will pick.

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I Can Call Him Black, But If He Says It Back That Misogy-tea

I’m a little teapot, short and stout.

I’m looking for a kettle six-foot or thereabout

Who makes a hefty salary, and when I shout

He wins me over and takes me out.

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