There once were some people with torches
Who sat upon their front porches
And cried “People with pitchforks
“Are evil and rich dorks”
While the real evil people ate bortsch.
Tag Archives: Short
My Reincarnation Of Choice
One person’s trash is another man’s treasure
Which is why every single raccoon
Is living the life with their hot raccoon wife
As a billionaire garbage tycoon.
Filed under Poems
Unlock Next Year’s Poem For $99.99/Month (50% Off)?
I had a lovely afternoon
About which you’ll never hear
Because I’m saving the clever poems
For probably sometime next year.
Filed under Poems
Happy Solstice
Shortest day of year
Then Grandma says “anal cyst”
Feels much longer now
Filed under Poems
A Limerick Reflecting On Labor And One’s Ephemeral Separation Therefrom On The Occasion Of A Holiday
There once was a break in my work
When I didn’t have to go to work
And my days had no work
And the absence of work
Was accentuated by not going to work.
Filed under Poems
I Used To Dress Up Like Grandma… Now I Save Other Animals From My Mistake
The big bad wolf went down to the coop
Where the farmer said “There’s 38 genders.”
The wolf ain’t ate no chickens so far
But he ate the chicken tenders.
Filed under Poems
Be Me, A 30-Year-Old Child
Wrapping paper tube
In my mind a light saber
Wife is not impressed
Filed under Poems
Ode To Brian Thompson
There was an insurance exec
Who got shot in the street. What the heck?
But instead of mass fear
Folks just let out a cheer,
Now relieved of one pain in the neck.
Filed under Poems
I’m, Uh, Wrapping Your Gifts? (Hehehe)
It’s the holiday season
Which is great for this reason:
It’s the only time of the year
That fully guilt-free
You can cut down a tree
And tell people “Don’t come in here!”
Filed under Poems
Actual Photo Of Our Christmas Tree…
It’s Friday night
And I’ve learned a bit
About Christmas trees
And how they fit.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 