“Anybody want some peas?”
Everyone said yes.
“Anyone want pewps?”
Perhaps next year, I guess…
Tag Archives: Short
Haiku for Hope
Broken pottery
By the lawn I haven’t mown
And my old blue truck;
Living comfortably
And all that I sacrificed
Was my lofty goals.
Then a cool pillow
When I wake and feel refreshed
Like when I was young;
That ginger sunrise
Isn’t unattainable
If I love enough.
Filed under Poems
And Potlucks Were Never The Same Again
Once upon a time
In a land of myth and ballad
Someone mixed a lot of plants
And called the result a salad.
Later, in Minnesota
Someone mixed mayonnaise
With literally anything at all
And said “Salad happens in many ways.”
Filed under Poems
Seriously… It’s On I-5 Exit 135. Now THAT Is Optimism
No matter how bad a day you had
You’re not as bad off as the guy
Who made an SOS out of rocks beneath the overpass
In case a savior might fly by.
Filed under Poems
I Just Wanted To Rhyme Things… Don’t Overthink It
If I had a baby shark
I’d never need an exclamation mark.
If I had a baby llama
I’d never use another comma.
If I had pets that numbered myriads
I would be all done with periods.
Alas, my only pet’s a cat
So there! I’m done, and that was that.
Filed under Poems
Modern Conveniences
While I’m on the road
I shop for ammo online.
Times aren’t all that bad!
Filed under Poems
I’m A Mediocre Redneck, But I’m Enthusiastic About It
I places 3rd out of 4 teams
At the cornhole tournaments.
I scored 6 points in two games
And I’ve felt so manly since.
I also walked in a cardboard box
And fell on my cardboard face.
That’s a Wednesday afternoon
At my Summer place!
Filed under Poems
D… Wait For It… UUUUUH!
Muffins and pizza and cake are delicious
Although, to my stomach, are often malicious.
Will I endure farting, mood swings, and pudge
To eat one more slice, with a side dish of fudge?
Filed under Poems
And The Items On The Shelves Sighed With Relief
There once was an Isle of Cat
Where the felines were wild and fat.
They all got along great,
Which is something cats hate,
So they ran away, and that was that.
Filed under Poems
Because She Took All The Liar’s Money? Or Is He Ridiculously Honest? Either Way, He And His Brother Are Standing By A Fork In The Road And You Probably Have To Ask Them Where Their Town Is Or Something
If I had a nickel
For every time I lied
I would have zero cents
And a supermodel by my side.
