There once was a bass who played bass
Who wondered “Is it pronounced vase or vase?”
His leader then lead
Him to read what he read
But he wound up wounding his face.
Tag Archives: Short
Funnier If You Read It Wrong (Is That “Read” Like Read or “Read” Like Read Though?)
Filed under Poems
He Was Not A Planner…
There once was a man from Tuskaloosa
Who had no fondness for his appaloosa.
Alas, ‘twas the only kind
Of rhyming thing he could find
So he packed up and moved to Des Moines.
Filed under Poems
True At Every Age
Some days your mind is foggy
And your heart is cold as ice
But you know soon you’ll have a poop
And that will feel nice!
Filed under Poems
Happy 18th Birthday?
Today I worked an eight-hour day
And did not feel blue
Until I finally realized
I must tomorrow too…
Filed under Poems
Three Poems On The Mysteries Of Love
If I had a pickle
For every time you smile
I’d be decorating sandwiches
For a sufficient while.
—————————————————————
As the birds sing in the morning
And the bugs crawl in the night
So too doth my heart yearneth
When you say “Meh, you’re alright…”
—————————————————————
I picked the petals from the flower:
“She loves me, she loves me not…”
But I misread the directions
Turns out it was flour I bought.
As I sift through every grain
I frown and then I smile.
I’m getting a great workout
But the results will take a while.
Filed under Poems
I Put Zero Effort Into This Poem, And So Should You
It’s Christmas day!
It’s Christmas! Yay!
There are better things to do today
Than read this blog, so go away!
Filed under Poems
December 23rd Urd Urd…
‘Twas the night before the night before Christmas
And all through the all through the house
Everyone was everyone was wondering
“Why the **** is everything echoey?”
Filed under Poems
But You Have To Pour The Milk First
One day at breakfast I asked my niece
“What if a bowl of cereal were all just one piece?”
My niece said, “I don’t mean to boast
“But I invented that cereal. I call it ‘Toast.’”
Filed under Poems
Koala Bear Care, But Human Clean Poo Man?
Somewhere in Australia
A koala has a baby,
And when that baby takes a poo
In public, then just maybe
Koala mommy and her cub
In a public restroom hide
And clean up on a table
With a human on the side…
Filed under Poems
When You Speak To A Chihuahua Without A Stupid Accent…
“You’re a good boy! Yes you are!”
They said and pulled me to the car.
But they didn’t use a cutesy voice
So I killed them (I had no choice).
Filed under Poems
